


Hey, Bartender

by sapphwriter



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Bar Scene, Chapters with these topics will be TW in the beginning and I will share how to skip them, Clueless writer adora, Comedy, Content warnings in end notes, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Historical Fiction writer adora, Kyle breaks bottles but we love him, POV Adora (She-Ra), POV Catra (She-Ra), Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Scorpia’s a bouncer, Who’s the mystery lady, alcohol use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:33:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26827420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphwriter/pseuds/sapphwriter
Summary: When Glimmer and Bow make Adora go to the Fright Zone, the grimiest (and busiest) bar in Brightmoon, Adora meets a mysterious stranger who calls her Baby.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 295
Kudos: 686





	1. Baby

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone! I'm Sapph, and this is my first ever fanfic. I started it in October of 2020 and did a significant rewrite of the entire fic (yes, the whole thing) in Jan 2021 to give it some extra love. If you're here to read for the first time, enjoy! If you're here for the rewrite, welcome back!
> 
> You can see notes on the re-write in chapter 8.
> 
> Feel free to say hi on Twitter (@sapphwriter) with comments, questions & suggestions.

**Adora**

Adora hated bars. She couldn’t count the number of times she’d left a bar early when Glimmer and Bow took her out dancing, either because the noise was grating or people would brush up against her. Just thinking about it made her jaw clench. Worst of all, tonight, Glimmer and Bow were making her go to the Fright Zone - arguably the grimiest and busiest bar in Brightmoon, with floors that somehow always felt sticky. Adora had fallen once about a year back and vowed never to do it again. Her friends heard Fright Zone and thought _fun_ , whereas Adora thought to _plan or panic._

Bow and Glimmer had insisted on a night out after they had observed Adora holing herself up in their small townhouse for a week, cranking out chapters for her publisher way ahead of her deadline. Her room was, as Glimmer put it, “absolutely fucking disgusting.” They were worried about her. She knew that. She was fine, though! It's not like she hadn't noticed a _week_ went by or that she hadn't slept or taken a break in days...

Okay, maybe Glimmer had a point. She needed to at least get outside.

"It’s _makeover time_!" Glimmer and Bow screamed together once Adora had begrudgingly accepted their non-optional invitation. Adora flinched at the noise. Her friends returned an apologetic look before continuing.

“I love you so, so much, Adora, but you look like shit,” Glimmer added as she started rifling through her closet.

“Thanks…?” Adora winced, “Not building my confidence before forcing me to go out.”

“You can’t lock yourself away for weeks at a time and expect to look _good_. Our friendship isn’t built on lies,” Glimmer sent Adora a pointed look. “Get in the shower...please?”

Adora sighed and conceded, grabbing her towel and starting the shower. She mentally prepared herself for going out - she’d need to bring her earplugs - and maybe steal back her notebook, the red one she _knew_ Glimmer hid somewhere. Sometimes her friend was too devious for her good. But she loved her, loved both of them intensely. They’d grown up together, and for better or worse, they were family.

Having two art students as roommates also had its perks - whenever she did go out, she never had to think about what to wear. One quick shower and some dry shampoo later, Glimmer put her in a black, tight-fitting turtleneck and a pair of light blue high rise jeans with heeled boots. Bow did her eye makeup, but Adora stopped when he tried to put lipstick on her.

"No, no, no. I do _not_ want to deal with that tonight. It just never stays on, Bow. I always forget I have it on, and it ends up all over my face. Remember that time we found some on my forehead the next day?" She whined.

"That wasn't your lipstick, and we both know it," he replied.

“Yes, it _was_!” Adora admonished. Bow just raised his eyebrow in response. Adora was gearing up to defend her case when Glimmer shouted from downstairs.

“Are you guys done bickering? Uber's here!"

A mumbled _oh, shit_ fell between the two of them as they scrambled to grab their heavy coats, shoulders bumping while they raced downstairs. Their eyes met in a wordless agreement. They quickly ran back into the kitchen, each taking a swig from the house Vodka bottle. A tradition that Adora hated but always respected and followed. Glimmer was in the front seat when they joined her, blasting (and singing along poorly to) Motivation by Normani. _Oh boy._ Adora tried not to giggle.

Okay, Adora could do this. She can go out and _be fun_. She was in her mid-twenties! She was supposed to be doing shit like this.

But, a few minutes in, the noise started to seep into her head, clamping down and refusing to let go. She could feel it grating into her skull. This feeling was uncomfortable but familiar; it’s why she prepared ahead of time. She went to grab her set of earplugs but -

_Fuck. Where are they?_

Adora started to panic. She left them on the bathroom sink, _idiot._ Adora didn't want to make them go back, but she couldn’t survive the night without them. She would have a panic attack in the middle of all those people, alone. She could deal with accidental touches now that she was a little tipsy, but that _and_ noise? They had to go back. She couldn’t do it.

"Guys, _wait_ ,” Adora said over the noise. Glimmer saw her face and turned down the volume on whatever song was drilling into her ears. “We have to go back. I forgot -"

"Glimmer, earplugs?" Bow interrupted.

Glimmer looked at Adora in understanding and passed the backup pair she always kept on hand. Even in their drunken pre-gamed state, they still took care of her. She felt a warmth settle over her as she felt her breathing relax. It was going to be okay - she had her friends there, and she could always leave if she needed to. Tonight was going to be good for her.

* * *

The crowd pulled Bow and Glimmer away from Adora before she could even hand the _rather large and muscular_ bouncer her license. It was like one moment they were there, and the next, Glimmer and Bow had teleported to another location in time and space. Either that or the bouncer's arms were very distracting.

The bar was grimy, to be sure - but Adora wondered if her anxiety had clouded her recollection of this place. The Fright Zone _was_ a cool spot. It was eclectic, one of those bars that you could go to a hundred times and still see something new on the walls. It didn’t feel forced, though. It was almost like the bar had been there for years, and the owner had just collected exciting things. Old, framed newspaper clippings, different nicknacks hung from the walls while the lighting cast a warm, red glow on the floor. It was always more a bar than a club, but people specifically came here to dance. Adora usually came here to drink and write, but she could pause and observe without her head in her notebook. Huh, had that bicycle been hanging from the ceiling the entire time she’d been coming here?

She was still looking up, bumping into a few people and apologizing profusely before reaching the bar in the back. Adora was lucky - the seat she usually had was open. It always seemed to be available, just for her.

_It must be a sign to write more. Maybe I could steal a napkin and a pen from behind the bar? Ah. No, no. Bad. You’re here to have fun, talk to people, observe. That’s just as important for writing as the actual writing._

She did a visual sweep of the dance floor and found her friends dancing in the middle - Glimmer’s hair instantly gave her away. It was like looking for a pink, sparkly beacon. Adora considered the number of different routes this night could take - Bow could grab Adora to dance, which she was horrible at, but if drunk enough, ended up having a good time with it, anyway. Either that or Adora will have to break up a fight that Glimmer will initiate with someone at least twice as tall or large as her.

Adora sometimes enjoyed this predictable nonsense. Her friends, having fun - she’d missed this. 

“Hey, you’re...c-ute,” she heard a deep voice say behind her, and a quick tap on the shoulder made her jolt.

No, Adora didn’t hate everything about going out, but the worst part was when drunk straight men tried to talk to her and offer her drinks. Some of these assholes would come over with something alcoholic already prepared for her, which she would take, sometimes saying she had a boyfriend, and dump it out the second they were out of sight. Adora had accepted that kind of drink before. She had no plans of doing it again.

Even the seemingly benign guys that approached her forced her to take her earplugs out in a loud environment, which further fueled her irritation even if the guy was well-intentioned. Usually, they would talk about some show that made them think they were unique, even if she had heard that same show from similar-looking guys at this very bar at least a hundred times. They would either mention some scientific theory with big, smart-sounding words, but when pressed, it was clear they honestly had no idea what they were talking about. They _very rarely_ asked about what she did for a living. They had no real interest in getting to know her; they were only interested in how she perceived them, how she made _them_ feel.

She usually turned on her big lesbian energy, and guys got the hint after a while, but not tonight. The idiot before her, in khakis, was not taking a single tip that Adora would rather eat glass than continue their conversation. She just wanted to put her earplugs in and tune him out, but he wouldn’t leave her alone. It was so loud, and he was so close. She could feel her panic bubbling. 

He was on some tirade about women in politics when she interrupted him. “I get you’re trying to get some, but I’m into girls.”

His eyes lit up, and he only leaned in closer. Adora smelled the tequila on his breath and recoiled. “You’re *hic* into chicks? That’s kiiinda hot,” he slurred. 

“I’m _only_ into girls. I don’t know what you think that’s going to do for you,” she warned him. 

“Nah, no girl is _only_ into girls.” He leaned in closer, touching her arm. “Maybe I can convince you-”

She put her hand up to stop him. Adora was at her breaking point. “Don’t you have some unfortunate straight girl to bother?” 

“Come on, have you ever fucked a dude? How could you know you’re gay if you haven’t tried dick before?” He put his arm around her, and she saw red.

_No. Absolutely not. This is not happening again. I can scream if I need to - where are Bow and Glimmer?_

“Get the FUCK off of me -”

Adora was seconds away from chucking this man headfirst into the back of the bar when she heard a voice behind her.

“Hey baby, there you are!”

_Baby?_

Adora whipped her head around so quickly; she nearly fell off of her seat. The person in question, the one who thinks she’s her _baby_ , stood between Adora and the man who was bothering her. The woman wrapped her arms around Adora’s neck, scratched the hairline there. She resisted the urge to flutter her eyes shut, to lean into her touch -

_Wait, is she calling me an actual infant? Do I need to fight her, too? Wait, no, that’s stupid. She thinks I’m her girlfriend...but I’m not her girlfriend. What is happening right now??_

“Uh, yeah? That’s, uh, me - your….baby?” Adora’s hands absentmindedly fell to the woman’s waist. When the woman pulled away, yet still _so close_ , Adora was met with heterochromatic eyes. 

Adora was too startled before to look, _really look_ at the woman she was holding. She was hot. _Stupid hot._ Her crimson lipstick contrasted her blue and gold eyes - they looked like they were practically glowing in the red lights above. Her hair was thick and wild, pulled up into a messy ponytail that Adora wanted to pull out and comb her fingers through. She smelled _amazing_ \- like elderflower and spice, like she’d taken a bottle of 100-year old whiskey and used it as perfume. It was intoxicating. Adora could feel the silk and a sliver of warm skin under her hands as she held her, realizing she had slipped her hand under the leather jacket to deepen the embrace. She felt nothing but smooth skin as she trailed her hand over the shirt.

She was beautiful, but not hers.

_Wait, is this a signal for help? Is she trying to get me to do something? I wonder if she’d let me kiss her, mess up that pretty lipstick. What would it look like on my -_ _oh my god, not the point, Adora. Focus._

“Are you okay? You’re looking at me like we’ve never met before,” she said, widening her eyes. _Play, along, dummy,_ she mouthed silently, grinning. “Are you brain damaged?”

“Shit! Hi,” she stammered. Adora dipped a little and lightly kissed the underside of the woman’s jaw. “It’s just - so dark in here! Didn’t recognize you.”

The woman paused and stared like she wasn't expecting something so soft. She leaned in again, returning the gentleness with a kiss at Adora’s pulse point.

_Haha, okay. This is fine. I’m_ fine. _Everything’s okay - I’m not a horny mess -_

The mystery woman pulled away to look over her shoulder. She seemed _delighted_ to find the man still there, gaping at the two of them.

“Get lost, you stupid fuck,” the woman said sweetly.

He finally got the point, sulking away in defeat and a slight sense of fear. The woman in Adora’s arms was scary. She loved it. 

“You okay?” she said over the music. Her hand was still on the back of Adora’s neck, tracing her hairline, driving her insane. She leaned in so she could speak quieter and yet have Adora hear her. “You can put your earplugs back in if you want,” 

“Yeah...yeah. Thank you. I was about to have a panic attack,” Adora responded, a little shakier than she would have liked. She flexed her hands around the woman’s waist before remembering. “Wait. What’s your name? And how'd you know about my -"

“You’re such an idiot. A cute one, mind you,” she murmured into Adora’s ear before placing a kiss on her cheek.

The woman turned around and vaulted herself seamlessly over the bar. She mixed a vodka soda, pulling a napkin from her pocket, and placing it in front of Adora in under a minute flat.

“Your usual.”

Adora had never seen anything so hot in her life. Before she could even open her mouth to ask for her number, the woman cut her off and pointed to the napkin.

_About time you looked up from that notebook of yours. Call me._

_Catra. xxx-xxx-xxxx_

Adora could have died on the spot - vodka soda in one hand, phone number in the other.


	2. Usual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read, left Kudos, and commented! I started writing a few years ago, snippets and stories here and there, but I never thought I could capture people's attention enough to flush anything out like this. Having such a wonderful group of people not only like what I'm writing but encouraging me to continue means more to me than you guys know.
> 
> That's enough sap for now. Let's get to the fun stuff!

**Catra**

Catra had been eyeing this hot, oblivious idiot for months now. The first time she’d walked in, Catra had nearly dropped the bottle of Jack in her hands - a _Kyle_ move. Catra loved Kyle, but she never did shit like that. It was the shoulders that she had noticed first. Broad and strong, like she’d grown up swimming, or boxing, maybe? She definitely worked out. She only looked slightly taller than Catra, but holy fuck, was she _built._

Unlike Blondie, Catra was observant. She knew where everyone’s drinks went and looked out for the women in her bar. She could handle a reputation for being a bit grimy - okay, yes, she needed to get the bar thoroughly cleaned next week - but Catra couldn’t stand the thought of someone in danger because she wasn’t paying attention. Lonnie’s entire job was to look out for suspicious activity - drugging drinks, unwanted touches, etc. Catra was observant, but an extra set of eyes was adequate insurance. Catra remembered faces, something that was _very useful_ as a bar owner - if someone pulled something, they were banned for life.

Although the girl was oblivious most of the time, she appeared to be...particularly aware of this behavior, too. Whenever she received drinks from an unknown source, she would either dump them out in the sink over the bar or not touch them at all. Catra kept an eye on those patrons and had Lonnie kick them out, anyway.

Okay, Catra could admit that her interest in this particular patron was a bit out of the ordinary. It was her bar, though. These dudes could suck it.

She was at the point where looking out for this behavior was second nature. Her entire job was making a Jack and Coke for the girl with the nose ring, vodka soda for the guy in plaid...she loved her work, but it was always the same. It was calming, refreshing seeing the blonde in her own little world, writing who knows what in her red notebook. She always kept that seat open for her, just so she could watch her write while she worked. Blondie could go for hours and not look up, asking for refills of vodka sodas that she always tipped well for in cash. She would probably sit there until Catra closed the bar (and she secretly hoped she would, so Catra could finally get her attention), but crop top boy and sparkle friend would pull her away to dance to whatever top 40 hit Rogelio was playing that night. 

She was a horrible dancer. It was so cute. Everything she did was cute.

The earplugs Blondie wore when she wrote intrigued Catra. Her first thought was that she had them because she was on some "not like other girls" internalized misogynistic bullshit or potentially needed them to focus on whatever she was writing. It clicked when the girl seemed _nervous_ without them - the noise was an issue for her. At one point, the woman lost one, and her friend with the sparkles had a backup pair on hand. Blondie looked relieved. This realization, and the woman's overall lack of awareness, made Catra protective of her. 

She’d held herself back from throwing out _every_ patron that hit on her. She wasn’t that irrational - she had bills to pay. But then, some douchebag would come over to her and _touch her_ without her permission, and Catra had to refrain from clawing at him in retaliation.

_This is stupid,_ she told herself. _You haven’t even met her._ But the woman was expressive, and Catra was observant. It had been a one-sided conversation for months, and Catra just wanted to know more.

A few months later, Catra finally caught her name. Sparkles was screaming it over the music to try and find her. It was impressive how loud this girl could get over the speakers Entrapta installed.

_Adora._ That was the blonde girl’s name. Catra said it out loud one night, her voice hidden under the blanket of thumping music, to see how it would roll off her tongue. It suited her.

Soon after, observing wasn’t enough. Catra had tried endlessly to get Adora’s attention when she sat down at the bar. If it were any other girl she’d just want to fuck, she would have no problems initiating. Something about this girl made her unusually nervous.

She'd tried offering her another drink every night she came in, hoping she'd lift her eyes, but Adora would continue writing, head down, and politely decline. At one point, Catra had written her number on the napkin under her drink. Adora had left the glass and napkin there, eventually leaving a 25% tip in cash. 

As far as Catra could tell, Adora hadn’t noticed her before. This oblivious weirdo made it as difficult as possible for Catra to hit on her. She kept a napkin with her phone number in her pocket, specifically for when she could finally catch this girl's attention. Just to see the look on her face. She loved a long con.

Tonight was different, though. Adora had foregone her usual ponytail in favor of leaving her hair down, which suited her immensely. She also didn’t have her notebook with her, and Catra could tell it made her nervous. She was stimming - a word Catra learned from Entrapta when she got her autism diagnosis - to try and self-soothe. The stimming became more prominent when a quite obviously sloshed man started hitting on her and invading her space. Adora looked like she was on the verge of punching him, and the chaotic part of Catra wanted to see what that would look like, you know. With those big arms of hers and everything.

Catra snapped out of her horny disaster thoughts when he leaned in even further - she caught something along the lines of “fucked a dude,” and she was on red alert.

She touched her earpiece. "Hey Scorpia, would you mind sending Lonnie to cover the bar? I have a situation, and I need to be able to intervene if it gets sticky," Catra said into her earpiece.

"Is that a euphemism, Wildcat?" Scorpia yelled into her ear, making Catra yelp.

“Fuck! Scorpia, we've talked about this. Entrapta built these things specifically for the bar. You don't have to yell into them," Catra replied at an average volume. "And also, gross, absolutely not. I'd ask you to handle it, but I don't think I need muscle for this one."

"Sounds good, boss! Lonnie's on her way!" Scorpia yelled into the earpiece again, no doubt excited to do the work.

"Agh! Goddamnit Scorp," Catra turned down her earpiece’s volume before taking a deep breath and making her way around the corner of the bar. She ran into Lonnie on her way out, mentioning that once Catra got back, the man bothering the blonde at the end of the bar was banned for good. Lonnie nodded and picked up where Catra left off, making drinks for the other patrons.

"...you have some unfortunate straight girl to bother?" Catra caught once she was in earshot.

Two thoughts came to mind at this statement. Selfishly, it meant Adora wasn’t straight. _Total score_. The second was that she looked more pissed off than Catra had ever seen her.

"Come on, have you ever fucked a dude? How could you know you’re gay if you haven’t tried dick before?"

_Take a deep breath,_ Catra told herself, even as her rage bubbled over. _No matter how tough you think you are, there’s no way you can go to jail for murder._

The wasted guy slipped his slimy arm around Adora, and Catra saw her panic in her body language, her eyes, and -

"Get the FUCK off of me -" 

Catra had to step in. She used her body to shove the guy off of her, sliding between them with some effort.

"Hey baby, there you are!" Catra said. Adora whipped her head around so quickly that she might have whiplash. She could have sworn she felt her shiver, seen her eyes flutter for a second as she ran her nails over the back of her neck. She really hoped that she wasn’t out of line for touching her like this, but she figured that Adora would have pushed her away if it was bothering her.

Catra saw her gears turning - a slightly furrowed brow before responding.

“Uh, yeah? That’s, uh, me - your…baby?” She said before placing her hands around Catra’s waist. She looked Catra up and down once with...want? She was even hotter up close - those arms felt even stronger under her fingertips. Adora could definitely throw her around a little if she wanted to. She smirked as Adora got her first real look at her. She inhaled sharply when those hands absentmindedly slipped under the silk of her shirt. The touch was searing. She felt the woman shudder as she smoothed her hands over her back, realizing that Catra wasn’t wearing a bra. 

“Are you okay? You’re looking at me like we’ve never met before,” Catra said. Adora still looked confused. Come on, Adora. _Play, along, dummy,_ she mouthed silently, grinning. “Are you brain damaged?”

She saw the moment it clicked. “Shit! Hi,” Adora stammered. 

_Very smooth, you dork_.

Adora dipped a little and lightly kissed the underside of Catra’s jaw. “It’s just - so dark in here! Didn’t recognize you.”

The touch was intimate and sweet, but she felt like she was burning from the inside. She needed to taste her. She smiled and dipped her head near her pulse point, placing an open-mouthed kiss there, lingering just a moment to hear her stuttered breathing. She pulled back to see Adora flushed, her pale skin putting her blush on full display. 

She vaguely remembered the reason she had to intervene. She looked over to the man behind her, told him to fuck off, and nodded at Lonnie to follow him.

"You okay? You can put your earplugs in now if you want," Catra said, continuing to trace patterns on Adora's neck. Her stomach dropped at the admission - it was too soon for Adora to know how long she’d been watching her.

"Yeah...yeah. Thank you. I was about to have a panic attack,” Adora said, stuttering slightly. 

Adora was even prettier up close. She had a little freckle on her nose - how had Catra not noticed that before? This girl was going to ruin her.

"Wait. What's your name?" Adora asked. 

_Oh, this is going to be so good._

"...And how'd you know about my-"

"You're such an idiot. A cute one, mind you," she said, kissing her once on the cheek.

She swiveled around, launched herself over the bar seamlessly (which took years of practice and she does at every possible opportunity, to Scorpia's dismay), and started making a vodka soda with one lime.

She grabbed the napkin from her pocket and placed it with the drink on the bar.

"Your usual."

Adora's jaw was on the floor. That's the reaction she was looking for. Adora opened her mouth to speak, but Catra cut her off and pointed to the note. Adora looked like she was going to pass out. Catra winked and started helping Lonnie with the backlog of drink orders, feeling light as air. _Finally._

_Talk to you soon, Adora._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feel free to say hi to me on my twitter @sapphwriter.


	3. Hot and Literate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get you a girl who's hot and can read, am I right, ladies and non-binary friends?

**Catra (Hot Bartender)**

**Adora**

hey!

this is Adora.

but you probably already knew that. whoops. haha.

**Catra**

who?

**Adora**

uh, Adora. from yesterday?

you called me baby?.

wait, you're the bartender, right??

**Catra**

doesn’t ring a bell. what were you wearing?

**Adora**

you're messing with me.

aren't you?

**Catra**

hmmm…what are you wearing now?

**Adora**

CATRA

* * *

**BFS 🌈**

**Adora**

GUYS

I TEXTED HER

**Glim** ✨

[Voice Memo, 3 min]

**Adora**

okay glim you can’t just send me a voice memo of you screaming

how did you even manage to record that at work?

**Bow 🏹**

[Voice Memo, 5 min]

**Adora**

BOW. PLEASE. NOT YOU TOO

ohhh shit she texted me back

**Glim** ✨

Don’t you dare leave us hanging!!

* * *

**Catra (Hot Bartender)**

**Catra**

you're just...so easy

to mess with. I mean

;)

**Adora**

I am NOT :(

**Catra**

oh, you DEFINITELY are

you’re so cute when you’re flustered.

I can read your energy from miles away.

**Adora**

and what energy is that, might I ask?

**Catra**

"might I ask" are you from ye olden days?

**Adora**

no

...maybe

the people I write about are

**Catra**

oooh, she's hot AND literate? sign me up ;)

so will you be the perfect gentlewoman when I see you next? 

open my carriage and everything?

**Adora**

why does that sound like an innuendo

**Catra**

good question

I’m sure we could figure out the answer together

**Adora**

OH uh

haha

hm.

**Catra**

bingo

there’s that bottom energy

**Adora**

bottom of what

**Catra**

…adora.

**Adora**

catra…? 

no seriously bottom of what

* * *

**Let’s get Adora Laid🌈**

**Glim** ✨ changed the chat name to **“Let’s get Adora Laid 🌈”**

**Adora**

guys, what’s “bottom energy”

Also lol the chat name

**Bow 🏹**

bottom of what

**Adora**

EXACTLY

okay shoot she’s texting me again

brb

**Glim** ✨

I don’t think this is salvageable

one brain cell, I swear to god

* * *

**Catra (Hot Bartender)**

**Catra**

uh, okay. 

are you gay?

I realize you could have been lying to get that guy to leave you alone.

**Adora**

yeah I’m very gay

like a 10 on the Kinsey scale

**Catra**

that’s a great pickup line

“hey, you look like a 10 on the Kinsey scale”

**Adora**

hey, Catra

**Catra**

yeah?

**Adora**

you looked like a 10 on the Kinsey scale last night ****

**Catra**

I’m swooning

**Adora**

It’s great, right?

**Catra**

yeah, it’s pretty good

almost like I pointed it out to you mere minutes ago

**Adora**

you can’t deny you liked it, though.

just a little

**Catra**

You’re such an idiot.

**Adora**

yeah, but I’m an idiot who wants to take you out on a date

wait I didn’t mean it like that

**Catra**

I was considering teasing you some more but.

I knew what you meant :)

Wanna come to the Fright Zone on Monday?

I’ll make sure it’s quiet for you and I can make you a drink or two

Maybe give you some more pickup lines to use 2 seconds later

On me.

**Adora**

That sounds great

**Catra**

See you at 8

**Adora**

See you then :)

* * *

**BFS 🌈**

**Adora**

I’m going insane.

I have a date on Monday

**Glim** ✨

[Voice Memo, 10 min]

**Adora**

Okay I’ve learned enough today to not open that

**Glim** ✨

okay yes I am screaming a lot but

this is HUGE!!

**Bow 🏹**

tell us everything

**Adora**

Uhhh I think I’m going back to the Fright Zone

She said she wants to make me a few drinks?

It seems so casual but honestly I’m terrified

What if we….you know...

**Glim** ✨

What if you fuck?

**Adora**

YES EXACTLY

what IF we fuck?

I haven’t done anything since

well. since. you know.

**Glim** ✨

ah.

**Adora**

yeah, “ah” is right

you see why I’m freaking out?

**Glim** ✨

Okay, Bow - do your thing

**Adora**

oh boy

**Bow 🏹**

understandably, you’d be scared after what happened

but you’re going to be there with a bartender. Nothing will happen

bars on mondays are notoriously slow and quiet

and you like her a lot. you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to

including going on the date at all. but i think if you said no

you’d be letting your trauma run your life.

it’s worth at least a try.

**Adora**

fuck.

okay. yeah. I can do this.

**Glim** ✨

you can 1000% do this

it’s also okay if you freak out again even after this chat

**Adora**

oh i’m already freaking out again

but i’m not gonna back out

thanks guys. I love you both so much

**Glim** ✨

💖💖💖💖💖

**Bow 🏹**

**💘💘💘💘💘**

**Adora**

OH MY GOD I’M SUCH AN IDIOT

**Glim** ✨

Did you just figure out what she meant by bottom energy

**Bow 🏹**

I still don’t know what it means

**Glim** ✨

it’s okay babe. I’ll tell you later ;)

**Adora**

we talked about this

NOT ON THE GROUP CHAT

but to answer your question

YES

fuck

* * *

**Catra (Hot Bartender)**

**Adora**

OH MY GOD

BOTTOM

**Catra**

There she is 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read, commented & awarded kudos! I love hearing from you guys.


	4. Return to the Fright Zone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Catra have their first official date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, surprise. Two updates in the same weekend? I love spoiling you guys. ;)
> 
> In all seriousness, I'm moving this week, so I wanted to give you something to enjoy while I'm struggling, lol. This is probably my favorite chapter so far. Hopefully, you guys enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!
> 
> Again, comments and kudos are really appreciated! I love hearing from everyone.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Monday | Adora**

Adora was nervous. Reasonably so. She hadn’t known Catra for long, and she was visiting her at work again. She didn’t usually care about what she wore, but it had taken hours to get ready  _ with _ her roommates helping her out. What do you wear on a date with a mysterious stranger?

Turns out, you wear something that makes you look as gay as humanly possible. It was freezing outside, so Glimmer put her in a white compression crop top, some fancy sweatpants, and a warm plaid flannel as an extra layer. Glimmer had told her to leave the flannel open, something about  _ abs _ and  _ what’s the point of working out if you never show it off _ . She...she had a point. 

She had left her hair down for some extra warmth on the back of her neck, and because Glimmer said that it looked nice. Now she was stress sweating in the cold, shivering as she took her warm coat to cool down. It was a weird juxtaposition, but she needed to take a breather before going inside, to let her body cool down. She ran her hands through her hair to brush some of the snow away.

_ Deep breath in, deep breath out. You can do this. _

Adora opened the Fright Zone’s heavy door and stepped inside.

She was pleasantly surprised to see that it was empty, for the most part. A few people were sitting in the booths in the back, enjoying drinks on what looked like first dates. Maybe this is where Catra got the idea. It was blissfully quiet. The conversations murmured enough that it became background noise rather than something that would pull her attention away. There was some soft lo-fi music on the speakers, pleasantly mixing with the intonations of whispered conversations between patrons.

“Hey Adora,” a voice purred, cutting through the other noises and taking root inside her chest. Adora felt her heart speed up, could hear the blood rush to her ears.

She turned toward the source of that beautiful voice, finding Catra behind the bar, arms set wide and leaning over the counter. She looked incredible. Her hair was down, looking wilder and curlier than it had in her ponytail. Her red silk blouse was open enough that Adora swore she could see the top of her bra, black and lacy. It looked like a button-down, but a gold pin held the shirt together rather than buttons. Catra’s eyes looked like they were glowing again...but maybe her eyes always looked like that. Adora wanted to find out.

“You have a thing for staring, don’t you?” Catra teased.

Adora was sure her blush had traveled all the way down her shoulders at this point. She had been standing there for longer than she thought. Why does she keep doing that?

“Hah, sorry.” It was a weak recovery and did nothing to hide how scarlet her cheeks were. She made her way over to where Catra was working behind the bar, taking her usual seat.

“It’s cute. As I said, you’re easy to fluster,” Catra said.

“I...don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Catra hummed, a dangerous noise. Adora felt herself leaning in, too. Her eyes flicked down to Catra’s lips, trying and failing to control her breathing. Catra waited until she was a breath away from Adora’s lips before smirking and changing course, whispering in her ear instead.

“You look incredible, Adora,” Catra said.

“Fuck,” Adora responded eloquently. She could  _ feel _ the heat in her face; knew that it burned enough for Catra to see. 

_ It’s great that I’m wearing this flannel, and it had RED in it! Great! I hate it! Thanks, Glimmer! _

“I rest my case,” Catra smirked, pulling back. “So you’re probably wondering why I brought you back to my place of employment.”

“It uh,” Adora cleared her throat, still recovering. “It crossed my mind, yeah.” 

“I have a confession to make,” Catra said somberly. “I think your favorite drink is trash.”

“What?” Adora asked incredulously. “But it’s just a vodka soda.”

“Exactly. It’s  _ just _ a vodka soda. That’s what Brads and Chads order every Saturday night. Think of this date like a wine tasting, but for cocktails. I’m going to ask you about a few things you like, see if I can get you a new favorite drink on the first try.”

Catra started taking out little bottles of this and that, things that Adora had never seen here on the weekends. All of these ingredients looked expensive.

“Wait, you don’t have to do this. Is this going to come out of your paycheck?”

Catra smiled. “Don’t worry about it. The owner and I have an agreement.”

“An agreement?”

“We’re tight here. I’ve known her since birth, so she basically lets me do whatever I want.”

“Oh, wow! Okay, that’s pretty nice - are you guys related?”

Catra didn’t say anything. She just stood there, one hand on her hip, and Adora’s brain was empty of all thoughts besides visions of those hips under her hands. Her eyes trailed upwards, as nonchalantly as humanly possible, while she mulled over Catra’s words.

_ Goddamn it. _

Adora sighed. “You’re the boss, aren’t you.”

“Only if you ask nicely, but yes. I do own this establishment.”

“I - wow. Okay, that’s pretty fucking cool,” Adora replied. She could have sworn she saw Catra blush for the first time since she’d met her, a wonderful hue under her darker skin. Adora thought she couldn’t be prettier, but apparently, she was wrong.

Adora was still uncomfortable at the thought of Catra using expensive ingredients for her - what if she hated the drink? And then...she’d have to lie. Adora felt immense pressure to figure out what the right thing to do was in this situation. Adora wished she could excuse herself to the restroom and find out which ingredients were the least expensive overall, so she could adjust her tastes to be the least burdensome financially, and -

Catra must have seen the utter  _ panic  _ in Adora’s eyes because she paused her teasing for a merciful moment.

“Don’t worry. We anticipate breaking a few bottles every Saturday and haven’t had the casualties this week. Mostly because my guy Kyle wasn’t working that night,” she lightly touched Adora’s hand, squeezing it once. “What I’m saying is we’re good to try whatever you want.” 

“ _ Whatever I want?  _ ” Adora said before she could think about the implications.

Catra smiled, very obviously holding her tongue. “Yeah, within reason. I’m not gonna give you an entire bottle of Macallan 18. Now, do you drink Vodka because you actually like it, or just because it is something that you’ve always had?”

“Always had.”

“Hm, okay. Any liquor off limits?”

Adora’s heart sped up at a memory she really didn’t want to relive here. She tried to keep her face as pleasantly neutral as possible. “Gin is a no-go.”

“So nothing with Gin, or notes of almond, lemon, or licorice. Got it. Do you like smoke or spice?”

“I, uh, love smoke and spice.”

Adora watched as Catra’s brow furrowed slightly as she considered her options. She hadn’t written anything down, humming softly as she worked. Adora watched her with rapt attention, noticing the shift in her arm muscles, defined from what Adora could only assume was years of lifting heavy bottles and making drinks.

Catra started taking out a few things - an aperitif, mezcal, pisco, pineapple, lime juice, and some syrups - Adora knew close to nothing when it came to drinks. Still, she was pretty sure this was an unusual combination of ingredients. Catra put the lid on the shaker and shook it with one hand, looking for something else further down on the bar while she did so. Adora couldn’t stop staring.

_ Is she holding a TORCH? Is she going to WELD something in front of me? _

Catra saw the look on Adora’s face and laughed in amusement. “Don’t worry. I’m just putting it back where it belongs.” Adora heard her mumble something along the lines of  _ I’m actually hiding it from Kyle,  _ and  _ He’s lucky we’re family. _ She smacked the outside of the shaker and dispensed two perfectly even drinks into chilled glasses.

Adora went to grab the glass eagerly, but Catra stopped her, pouring a shot of mezcal and some kind of other liquid on top. Adora watched, mesmerized as the liquor seeped into the rest of the drink. If this was Catra’s usual move on dates, it fucking  _ worked _ .

_ Holy shit, this woman is so hot. So hot and scary. In the best way. So - _

“Well, are you gonna taste it or just stare at it?” Catra teased. Adora was tired of being the one flustered - she kept eye contact, knowing that Catra’s attention would be on her lips and mouth as she sipped her drink. Sure enough, Catra was  _ watching _ , unconsciously licking her lips to wet them.

“Well, are you gonna taste or just stare at it?” Adora parroted in a moment of uncharacteristic bravery. Catra smiled, a little surprised.

“Maybe, if you ask nicely.”

“I’ll hold you to it.” Another blush heating her cheeks.

“What do you think of the drink?” Catra deflected, unsuccessfully hiding her blush behind the glass.

“It’s fucking delicious,” Adora laughed. “What is this?”

“It’s called the Shaman. Some hippie mixologist in New York created it, and I nabbed the recipe. It’s smoky, but I added some of the cinnamon syrup that I made this morning to make it a little sweeter,” Catra said, lifting the glass towards Adora. “Cheers.”

“Cheers,” Adora replied, lifting the glass and taking a sip herself. Catra paused for a moment, looking at Adora with a fondness that should have made her uneasy, but only had the effect of making her feel warm and comfortable. 

“I want to show you something,” Catra said. “Give me one minute. I’m gonna see if someone can take over the bar.” She touched an earpiece that Adora hadn’t noticed before, hearing a faint  _ what’s up wildcat? _ from the other end of the line. “Hey, you mind watching the bar for a few hours? I have a guest.” The woman on the other end of the line was loud enough for Adora to hear every word this time.

“Is this the blonde girl you’ve been talking about?” Catra’s eyes went wide, knowing that Adora had heard every word. “I don’t know what you’re  _ talking about, _ Scorpia,” she said through gritted teeth, blushing furiously.

“Ohhhh, she’s right there, isn’t she?” The woman, Scorpia, said on the other end of the line.

Catra sighed and rubbed her eyes in frustration. Adora, on the other hand, was trying and failing not to laugh. “ _ Yes, _ she’s right here in front of me. That’s what I meant by  _ I have a guest. _ ”

Scorpia spoke much quieter for the rest of the conversation, and Catra seemed to have calmed down. The red on her cheeks remained. “Thanks, Scorp. I appreciate you stepping in. I’m gonna be upstairs if there’s an emergency.”

_ Upstairs? _ Adora thought.  _ Is...is her room upstairs? _ She felt panic bubble up, but she followed Catra as she headed towards the end of the bar.

Catra paused to check and make sure that Adora was following her, sensing her hesitation. She walked down a few steps, meeting Adora eye to eye. “Hey, don’t worry. It’s just another part of the bar,” she said gently, pushing a loose piece of hair behind her ear and cupping her cheek. “I just wanna talk.”

Adora nodded, and with one deep inhale and exhale, her body relaxed with the reassurance. Catra held her hand as they walked up the stairs, stopping midway in front of, what Adora would have assumed, was just another part of the wall. Catra turned to her with a wicked, excited grin as she pushed the wall, and it swung open. The secret door was seamless. Adora trailed behind her as they walked inside.

She was greeted by a much smaller private bar area, decked out with velvet booths and an intricate mirrored ceiling. The bar itself had a pink, neon arching sign, casting a pinkish-red glow onto the dark wooden bar and matching barstools. Adora didn’t know a great deal about liquor, but she could tell that the stuff Catra kept here was expensive. Catra dropped Adora’s hand and made her way over to the corner of the room, and flipped a switch, lighting small lamps on every table that filled the space with more warm, red-toned lighting. Twinkle lights were hung from the ceiling, filling the gaps in illumination across the room.

“Holy shit, this - this is amazing. And you did all this?” Adora asked.

Catra nodded, bringing Adora to one of the barstools, sitting next to her. Their knees brushed, thighs slotting together to make enough room for them both to sit.

“I, uh -” Adora started.

“Oh, shit, uh, sorry, I didn’t realize -” Catra said, pausing before laughing at the awkwardness of it all. “Sorry, I just - pfft, I don’t usually go on dates where I’m this nervous, and, ha - I wasn’t even thinking.”

Adora was laughing, too, then. The sight of Catra laughing latched onto something in her chest. “You’re lovely when you laugh,” Adora found herself saying, mouth betraying her. She swallowed thickly as she considered how to recover.

“Not all the time?” Catra teased. 

“All the time. But particularly when you laugh,” Adora replied, doubling down. She heard Catra’s breathing stutter a bit before continuing. “Uh, so. What’s the story behind the speakeasy?”

“It’s a new project I’m working on to try to bring an older crowd to the bar,” Catra said, stopping to take a sip of her drink. “Not that we’re falling into hard times or anything. We just aren’t as busy during the weekdays as I would like. I figured if we did an upscale, speakeasy-style bar, we could get more foot traffic and double our profits on weekends. Dumb college kids downstairs, fancy adults upstairs. We soundproofed the entire thing.”

Catra was hot  _ and _ brilliant, it seemed. “Do you have a name yet?” Adora found herself asking.

“Not yet - I had a few ideas, but none of them are sticking,” Catra said, sounding a little frustrated. “All of the names I’ve looked up are like - ‘Roaring Twenties’ or something dumb like that. I’d like it to be a little more unique.”

Adora thought for a moment. “What about ‘The Whispering Woods’? It has the sense of quiet without being cheesy, and the major element of the bar is wood.”

Catra stared at her, dumbstruck. “You just thought of that. Right now.”

“Uh - yes. I mean...yes?” Adora responded, suddenly uneasy.

“It’s perfect.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Catra replied, her gears turning. “There’s also this fairytale element to it, but it’s  _ subtle. _ I - I’m really impressed. It took me a few months, and I would never have come up with something that good.”

“I don’t know - I think you would have thought of something -” Adora deflected, but Catra shook her head. “I might be good at this, but I’m not good with words. You said you’re a writer, yeah?”

“Yeah! I write historical fiction with a sapphic twist,” Adora started, feeling herself get animated at the thought of talking about her work. “My most recent book is about a sword-wielding female knight, but I’m running into some...issues with my publisher.”

“What kind of issues?” Catra asked, brow furrowing.

“I want the knight to be a gay woman, but they said it’s just not realistic or historically accurate. I don’t even think we know half of what is historically accurate, though, considering so much of history was edited by male Catholic gatekeepers,” Adora said. “I feel like that’s what’s happening here, too. My publisher is gatekeeping me into writing a straight romance because they’re scared that it won’t sell. I just want a sword-wielding lesbian in my book - you’d think that’s not too much to ask, but it is, apparently.” Adora took a rather undignified inhale, realizing she had forgotten to breathe during her tirade on queer representation in historical fiction.

_ Oh fuck, how long have I been talking? _

“I know it’s probably not realistic with all the external pressure, but you should just write it how you want to,” Catra said.

“I...want to, but my first book was such a flop. My publisher doesn’t trust my instincts anymore.”

“What did you write?”

“Oh god, I don’t even want to tell you - it’s, it’s garbage, honestly. I’m lucky I wrote it under a pseudonym.”

“Come on, tell me. I can decide for myself if it’s garbage or not,” Catra chastised.

She was right - and it wasn’t garbage, she reminded herself. The voice sounded a lot like her therapist.  _ You can’t decide things for other people, Adora. _

“Uh - yeah, okay. It’s called  _ Open me Carefully. _ It’s heavily based on the love letters that Emily Dickinson and Susan Huntington passed to each other in their lifetime. Emily would write ‘Open me Carefully’ on each letter. I thought to myself - what if there was a world in which these two had gotten together? A poet and the love of her life. I thought it was pretty romantic, but...apparently, other people didn’t think so. I think I sold like 30% of the estimated copies,” Adora said solemnly. The percentage was 34%, she knew that by heart, but she didn’t want Catra to see that she had memorized it. “This is kind of my last shot as an author before I give up and have to do some soul-sucking corporate job writing instruction manuals or something.”

“That’s not true,” Catra said, taking Adora’s hand. “I’m excited to read it. And you know what? Even if this doesn’t work out, you’ll find a way to publish the book you want to write. You shouldn’t be forced to make your characters straight just because some corporate idiot says so. There haven’t been enough queer romance novels in this genre to know exactly how it’s going to sell. So keep at it in that red notebook of yours.”

Adora just stared at her. That was precisely what she needed to hear, the encouragement alleviating all of the stress and anxiety she’d had for weeks. She was struggling with this novel because, in the end, it wasn’t one that she would want to read. Adora pondered this for a second, questioning her hair choice of many decades when it hit her.

“Wait. How do you know about my red notebook? I didn’t have it on me when I met you on Friday,” Adora asked.

“Oh. Uh. Haha, what? I didn’t say that.” Catra stammered, starting to chug her drink a little.

“You definitely did,” Adora said, and then it hit her. “You’ve noticed me for months. That’s how you knew about my earplugs...that’s why my seat was always open! Why didn’t you try and talk to me sooner?”

Catra groaned exasperatedly. “I tried  _ so many times _ . I went as far as to write my number on the napkin your drink was under. You left it on the table, so I had assumed you either weren’t gay or weren’t interested.”

Adora sighed and covered her face with her hands. “I am so fucking oblivious sometimes.”

“Tell me about it. You’re cute, though, so I forgive you.”

Adora dropped her hands from her face to meet Catra’s eyes. She was met with a smile that was so warm, one that she hoped was saved just for her. 

Adora smiled in return, waiting for the embarrassment to subside. She was looking at the bar when it hit her.

“I was thinking about how you could market this place to people on the weekdays,” Adora said thoughtfully. “You could make it like a daily working station. Sort of like office space for artsy people who create during odd hours, like writers and artists who are most productive in the evenings.”

Catra’s brow furrowed again as her gears were turning. Adora wanted to kiss her on the forehead, right between her brows.

“That’s…an excellent idea. You’re saying you’d write here?” Catra asked.

Adora smiled over the rim of her mostly-empty glass, taking a quick sip. “I’d write here every day if you’d let me. I hear the owner makes great drinks.”


	5. Pad Thai

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! Thank you to everyone who has read, commented & left Kudos! Everything went well with the move, so I figured I’d post a new chapter to celebrate.
> 
> We’re really getting into that M territory here. Things are gonna get a lil spicy from this point forward ;)
> 
> See the end of the chapter for some TWs.

**December 2 | Catra**

* * *

**Adora (Blonde Dork)**

**Adora**

What time do you open?

**Catra**

the bar or my legs?

**Adora**

dear god.

catra

it's like 11 in the morning

**Catra**

;)

that's what the internet is for, btw 

**Adora**

Catra, I know what porn is.

I may get flustered easily

but I'm not THAT naive

**Catra**

.....Adora.

I meant

The internet is for finding out opening times

Of stores and restaurants

And bars

**Adora**

Can you do me a solid and just? 

Pretend that didn't happen.

**Catra**

Absolutely

As in I will absolutely remind you that this happened

At every possible opportunity

**Adora**

Goddamnit.

Maybe I'm trying to find out when a particular employee will be there today.

**Catra**

Scorpia's shift starts in 10 minutes

Oh, you mean me?

**Adora**

YES, I mean you.

**Catra**

I'm here now.

**Adora**

What's your favorite food?

**Catra**

And here I thought I’d had passed the age of 20 questions

Next thing I know, you're going to ask me who I have a crush on

**Adora**

I think we both know who you have a crush on.

**Catra**

You got me

I'm lusting over Betty White.

**Adora**

I'm heartbroken

I can never compete with Betty

**Catra**

Nobody can

To answer your question, though, I'm vegetarian, so I'll eat anything without meat

Veggie Pad Thai is my usual go-to

**Adora**

I'm on my way

* * *

Catra was wiping down the bar when Adora walked in. Her hair was up in that ridiculous little princess pouf she’d seen a few times since she’d first noticed her, although this time it was a bit damp from the snow outside. She did not travel light when she wanted to write, apparently - carrying a rather large backpack and juggling a few containers in a paper bag.

"One veggie Pad Thai for the lady," Adora said, unceremoniously plopping the bags on the counter. Catra took the takeout containers out of the bags as Adora put her backpack and coat on the stool next to her.

"Is this from Thai Palace?" Catra asked, recognizing the packaging. It smelled fucking  _ fantastic. _

"Hell yeah, it is. It would be blasphemous to get Thai food anywhere else," Adora said, abandoning the ponytail and shaking her head to let her hair fall.

"Y-you really didn't have to do this. Thank you," Catra said, opening the lid and digging in. She was starving.

"You're letting me work here for free. Plus, I like taking care of people," Adora said, taking a quick bite of her dish. "I like taking care of you.” Adora's eyes went wide in panic - like she’d just lost control of her brain and said something she hadn’t meant to. She struggled to chew and swallow her food quickly and geared herself up to backtrack.

Catra decided to save her from herself. “By the way, that guy that bugged you on Friday? He’s not allowed back here. Scorpia kicked him out.”

Adora swallowed thickly. “You - you did that? You didn’t have to do that for me, I -”

“He harassed you, Adora. I don’t want a man like that back in my bar,” Catra said, pausing. “And, okay, I didn’t like him hitting on you either.”

Adora laughed. “Wait, were you -”

“If you ask me if I was jealous, I’ll ban you from the bar, too,” Catra warned, but the threat was idle. Adora looked too smug for her own good. Catra cleared her throat. “Anyway, the guy dared to try to come back the next weekend and order a drink from me. I had Scorpia physically remove him.”

Catra took a bite and grabbed a glass of water each as Adora pondered this. “How’d you remember him? There must be hundreds of people who come through here in a week.”

“I - I remember faces and names,” she said, tapping her head a few times for emphasis. “I have a photographic memory when it comes to people. It makes remembering idiots and running a bar a  _ lot _ easier.” She took a sip of her water, eyeing Adora carefully. She seemed as if she was...disappointed?

“Ah, so that’s how you remembered me,” she said, laughing weakly. This confused Catra. She remembered people, sure, but it took a lot for her to  _ care _ about them. Even if she didn’t have a knack for people, she’s pretty sure that Adora would be impossible to forget.

“Hey, c'mere. I have a secret,” Catra said, leaning over the bar. Adora hesitated, grappling with herself a little as to what to do next. “Don’t be shy, come on,” she teased, smirking a little at Adora’s pure, gay panic. Adora stood up from the stool, leaning to meet her halfway. Catra cupped her palm around Adora’s ear, lips brushing her earlobe. Adora giggled a little, breaking the spell. “This is - pfft, ahem. This is a serious secret, Adora.”

“I know it just. It tickled. I’m sorry - continue,” Adora said, blatantly holding herself back from laughing again.

“I remembered you because you’re really fucking hot,” Catra whispered.

"Pfffft-"

“Don’t laugh! You seriously can’t tell me you don’t know it. I almost dropped a bottle when I first saw you.”

“Careful, Catra, Betty White is gonna get jealous if you keep being this sweet to me," Adora teased.

“She’ll live. Literally. I think she might be the only immortal being on this planet.”

Adora was laughing again. Catra watched as she devoured her food at an inhuman pace, both slightly disgusted  _ and _ impressed. She talked to Adora about doing inventory earlier, meeting with Entrapta to discuss the books and new tech they could afford to build.

“We just had some cameras installed,” Catra started, mixing Adora her new favorite drink. “I have a great memory, but Entrapta said that it might be a good idea just for some extra security. Personally, I think she just wants an excuse to make more shit. I couldn’t stop her even if I wanted to.” Catra poured out the liquid into two glasses and handed one to Adora.

“Thanks,” she said, taking a sip. “How’d you find your staff? Entrapta, Scorpia,  _ Kyle _ \- it seems like you’ve known them forever.”

_ Fuck. _ She knew this question was coming, but she still, somehow, was not prepared for it. Catra turned around and started organizing bottles. She might be able to avoid looking at Adora if she decided now was the right time to talk about it. "Oh, uh. It’s a...long story.”  _ It’s a Painful story.  _ “I don't want to bore you, plus you probably have some writing -"

“Hey, wait - look at me,” Adora said gently. “You don’t have to tell me if it’s too much. I - I know what that’s like.” Adora exhaled shakily, tapping her fingers on the table and looking visibly calmer. “If you do want to share, though, I’m here to listen.”

She asked Catra to let her in, but she wasn’t sure if Adora would want to hear what she had to say. She wasn’t proud of the choices she made when she was younger. She also hadn’t told this story in years, mostly because the people around her were those impacted by those bad choices. The words felt like sand in her throat.

"Hah!" Catra started awkwardly, wincing after. "It's, uh. Not a fun story."

"That's okay." Adora's smile was genuine.

Catra took a swig of her drink. “So uh, fuck, here we go, I guess. I was a foster kid from like...age 3 onward. My - my parents died when I was pretty young. I wasn’t there, I just - I caused it? They got into an accident on their way back from dropping me off at school.”

“Fuck, Catra -”

“No, wait, please - it’s still hard. If I stop, I won’t be able to start again,” Catra said gently. Adora nodded, indicating she should continue. “Most of the homes were okay in the beginning, but I was passed around a lot due to some -  _ reckless behavior  _ on my part. Apparently, people don’t want a kid who’s hitting things - hitting other  _ kids _ . Stealing shit. I was abusive - I wasn’t a good person." Catra laughed weakly. She had blurted this out in one stream of consciousness, hoping that if she said it fast enough, Adora wouldn't be able to latch onto one thing in particular.

"You’re not a bad person, Catra," Adora said calmly.

"I wasn’t. All of the people I employ are people I used to be in homes with. I pay them really well as a...kind of apology, I guess? For being so shitty. I made their lives a living hell, and I honestly can't understand why many stayed. I need to take responsibility for the things I did," Catra took another deep breath. "The things that were my fault."

"Who told you it was your fault?" Adora asked. 

_ Catrina, You stupid child. What did you do now?  _ Catra remembered clearly in a voice that was not her own.

Adora continued speaking, breaking Catra’s train of thought. "Sorry if that's too personal. It's just - kids are  _ taught _ shame, they aren’t born with it.”

Catra paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts before continuing. “Yeah, I was definitely taught it. The last home I was in before aging out of the system was owned by a woman named Ms. Weaver. She hated me, caught me with a girl in my bed one time, and made me sleep outside for a week. And Yeah, that sucked, but - she would tell me I was responsible for my parents dying. I would run away when it got to be too much, but it just made things worse.”

Adora looked at her for a long moment, studying the planes of her face, trying to unlock a door that Catra had closed a very, very long time ago. "That must have been really difficult to handle all of that on your own," she said finally. "You must have felt really lonely."

Catra had never admitted that to anyone. She had confessed her anger, sure, but her loneliness? Absolutely not. She couldn't afford to let people in like that. But Adora was different, she reminded herself. Her eyes were so earnest and blue, and Catra knew she could trust her with anything. She wanted to trust her with everything.

"Y-yeah. I wanted people around me but kept pushing them away. It still confuses me as to why I did that to myself,” she settled on.

"You were in a lot of pain," Adora said. "Sometimes, our brains try to protect us, but the ways that they do aren't necessarily rooted in logic. Trauma really fucks up our ability to see people as support systems instead of threats."

"This conversation is making me think I need a therapist," Catra laughed.

“Sorry, this might have been too much -”

"No, it's okay. I just haven't talked about this in a really long time. You can kinda go on autopilot and forget it happened for a while, you know?"

"Yeah. And then it'll hit you at once when some blonde idiot reminds you by asking questions about your childhood trauma," Adora said.

"You're not an idiot, Adora," Catra said. "I don't know who told  _ you  _ that. I read your book, and I think it’s brilliant.”

Adora’s eyes went wide. “You - you read it? It’s only been like, a few days - there’s hundreds of pages. You didn’t have to -”

Catra stopped her. “You’re right. I didn’t have to. I wanted to. You might be my new favorite author, Adora Gray.”

"I-uh. Uh. Thank you," Adora stammered. She was so cute when she tried and failed to recover gracefully, Catra thought. “But seriously,” Adora continued, “Therapy is wonderful. I see mine once a week. It could really help if that’s something you’re interested in.”

"Maybe I’ll look into it,” Catra said, narrowing her eyes. “Have you talked to your therapist about me?"

Adora swallowed audibly. "Haha, I mean. What? That's confidential," she said weakly. She was blushing right down to her neck.

“It’s not confidential if you tell me,” Catra teased.

“ _ Catra _ -” Adora whined, her blush sinking further and further down her neck. She wondered how far she could get that blush to go. 

“You look a little... _ red _ . Do you need some water?"

"Yes, please," Adora rasped. She sounded relieved at the change in conversation. “So, traumatic childhood aside. How’d you get this bar?”

"Ah, so my traumatic childhood impacts this, too,” Catra winced as she refilled Adora’s water. “Weaver left it to me.”

“What?” Adora asked incredulously. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It...was not given to me in its current state. She purchased it in '07 and ended up going bankrupt in ‘08. She opened multiple lines of credit under my name and maxed them out when I was a minor. She handed me the deed to this condemned place and the information for the loans I didn't open on my 18th birthday. She wished me luck and disappeared," Catra laughed bitterly. "I was able to re-negotiate some of the terms due to the fraudulent nature of the loans, but I was still on the hook for most of it. I just paid off those loans  _ last year.  _ I would pay my staff, pay to stock the bar, and  _ then _ pay for my food. I lived upstairs for a while to save cash."

Adora was listening intently, and she looked  _ sad. _ Her eyes weren’t conveying pity; pity was an empty emotion, used by more fortunate people. Pity said, “I’m sorry for your loss,” meaning  _ I’m happy it wasn’t me _ . Adora wasn’t pitying her - she was commiserating in her heartbreak. They shared a look of understanding as people who had once lost themselves, but for different reasons. Catra knew this look. She knew Adora now, too.

"Look at what you turned all of that into," Adora said, gesturing to the bar around her. "You should be really proud of yourself."

That rocked Catra. She didn't know how much she needed to hear that until she was given that gift, so freely, so sincerely.

"T-thank you, Adora,” Catra said, pausing in uncharacteristically awkward silence, feeling exposed. "What about you? Did you have your parents growing up?"

"I was raised by my Grandmother, Raz, actually. My mom passed when I was pretty young, but - I feel like I know her just from talking to Raz. And from reading her books.”

“She was a writer, too?”

“Yeah,” Adora said, eyes shining. “She - Mara used to write science fiction novels, but when she found out she was pregnant, she started writing children’s books. Raz has read them to me so many times, I could probably recite them all from memory at this point.” 

Adora looked so happy. Catra wanted to bottle up this moment, her smile, and save it forever.

"That makes me really happy, Adora," Catra said sincerely. "You deserved that love growing up."

Adora's brow furrowed, a sad smile creeping onto her face.

"You did, too."

* * *

**December 9**

They had developed a routine over the past week. Adora would bring Catra some food, either leftovers from dinner she made the previous night or something that she thought Catra would like from a takeout spot nearby. Catra would always try to pay, but Adora would never let her. Something about a book advance that she had barely spent. Catra would make her decaf lattes on the Fright Zone's old espresso machine and other drinks to fuel her writing in return.

Adora would type for hours on end in the upstairs bar, occasionally stopping to chat with her about what she was writing or to ask her to try a drink that she was crafting for the bar’s menu.

Catra was surprised at how easy it was to just be  _ around  _ Adora. They could go for hours in comfortable silence. She would sometimes just watch her write for a few minutes, Adora being too lost in thought to realize that she had been staring.

She'd gotten to map out the lines of her face, learn about her mannerisms while she was oblivious to Catra's gaze. Adora had a little scar between her eyebrows, maybe an inch or two, that she could only see when she furrowed them in concentration. Her eyebrows were dark while her hair was blonde, but Catra didn't think she dyed them. Adora would sometimes fiddle with the ends of her hair. Once Catra told her that she liked it down, she hadn't seen her with it in a ponytail since. She didn't want to hope that Adora was doing it for her, trying to impress her.

Catra hoped anyway.

And sometimes, Adora did catch her staring, and she would give her a big dopey grin, open and warm.

* * *

**December 12**

On the tenth day of their newfound routine, Catra was listening to Adora type while trying to reach the bar's top shelf to stock it. She was getting close to the Whispering Woods’ soft opening, and there was still so much to do. It would be easier to  _ get said things done _ if Catra wasn't so goddamn short and could stock the shelves herself. She tried jumping up a little to make herself taller, but no dice. Even on her tippy toes, she couldn't touch the bottom of the lowest shelf.

"So, uh, listen. My soft opening for this bar is next Wednesday," Catra said, interrupting herself with another quick jump. She finally gave up and turned around to see Adora looking at her. "Do you, uh. Want to be my date?"

Adora turned smug.

"Oh, no. Please don't tell me I'm going to regret this, Adora -" Catra started, but she was promptly ignored as Adora stood up and started making her way to the back of the bar.

"Are you saying you like me? That's so embarrassing for you,” Adora said, laughing as she pulled Catra in lightly, rubbing her knuckles on her head, messing up her hair.

"Oh my GOD. Are you twelve? Okay. Stop it! HA! Stop - that's it, you're uninvited!" Catra was giggling the whole time. She couldn't help it - she couldn't remember the last time she had this much fun.

"Okay, okay," Adora gave a huge grin, finally releasing her. "I'd  _ love  _ to be your date."

Catra grinned at her and tried to pat down her ratted hair. "It's black tie. It's mostly going to be the staff, family, and friends, but I'm trying to find some investors to expand this concept. You should bring your sparkly friend or anyone else you want, so you know a few more people there."

"My sparkly...you mean Glimmer?"

"Yeah, Sparkles. And her partner, too," Catra said.

"You can try calling her Sparkles to her face, but I can't promise I'll protect you from her wrath if you do," Adora giggled. "Do you mind if I wear a suit?"

_ Adora. In a suit. Yes. _

"I would absolutely love it if you wore a suit," She responded too quickly. Adora hummed in agreement, either oblivious to Catra's eagerness or too kind to tease her about it. Catra tried to hide her blush by attempting to reach the top shelf again. She finally had to admit defeat and ask for her taller counterpart to do it for her.

"Can you help me put these bottles up here? I can't reach without a ladder, and I keep forgetting to get one," Catra said, hand on her hip, pouting. "This was not a great design choice on my part when I built this thing out.”

Adora looked at her fondly and started lifting the expensive bottles onto the shelves. She had...accidentally? On purpose? Backed Catra into the corner of the bar area to reach the shelves. Catra was suddenly aware of how close they were.

"All done," Adora said, turning around to face Catra, suddenly even closer.

"Th-thank you," Catra said, staring at Adora's mouth.

_ Kiss me. Please. _

Adora's eyes flicked from Catra's lips to her eyes, leaning in to press her lips to hers.

_ Finally. _

She kissed Catra so attentively and carefully. As if she were something precious.

Nobody had ever treated her like that before.

Adora ran her hands up Catra's neck and into her hair, pulling slightly. Catra let out a choked gasp, her eyes becoming more lidded the longer she lost control.

"God, you're so beautiful," Adora said, sounding giddy. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this."

“I might have some idea," Catra said, running her hands along Adora’s arms to pull her in again.

Adora dipped her head back down to kiss her, her hands reaching around to the backs of Catra's thighs, fingers curling around to the hip joints, to pick her up and place her on the bar like she weighed absolutely nothing.

Catra wanted to mark her, have her remember that she was  _ hers, _ even if they’d only had a few precious moments. She removed her lips from Adora's, dragging her mouth on Adora’s jawline and nipping at a spot below her ear. Adora let out a surprised whimper and leaned into the touch, wordlessly asking for more.

"Such a beautiful little noise. Is that just for me?" Catra whispered in her ear.

"Just for you," Adora agreed eagerly.

Pleased with this response, Catra dug into Adora's pulse point,  _ hard,  _ with her teeth. Adora let out a cry, hips jutting forward on their own volition. She licked and sucked the same spot, turning it a brilliant purple that she was sure would last for days.

Catra wanted more.

She wanted to know if Adora would like her to be gentle or rough. How wet she would be when Catra went down on her knees for her, her cheek against Adora's thigh. If she would look at Catra or if she would close her eyes. How long she would take Catra's teasing before she begged for her mouth on her. What she tasted like. How many fingers Adora would want. What noises she would make after Catra said she wanted to hear her. How many times she could get Adora to come before she couldn't take any more.

She wanted to hold her after. Take care of her. Tell Adora she loved her.

Because she did. It was too soon, and yet she did.

"My apartment's next door," Catra whispered instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Parental abuse (emotional), homophobia


	6. Bedtime Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Panic attacks, PTSD, sexual assault
> 
> Hi everyone! Hoo boy, am I nervous about posting this chapter. Our girl Adora has been hurt in the past, and we’re going to explore that here. I think it’s important to note that I based this on my experience with these topics and isn’t necessarily indicative of all experiences.
> 
> I’ve put a trigger-friendly summary in the end notes for friends who would like to skip out on this chapter but follow along.
> 
> HUGE thanks to my friend Soph (@sheradorasimp on Twitter) for the words of encouragement ❤️
> 
> Update: Another huge thank you to @nyooooooy on Twitter for the wonderful art 🥺
> 
> Things get better from here. I promise!

**Adora**

_ So, this is happening. _

Adora didn’t anticipate the evening progressing like this. Her intentions were innocent - she thought that Catra worked hard and deserved dinner. Maybe, Adora could  _ try _ to flirt a little, actually fluster her for once. 

She’d been writing when she saw Catra staring at her - she was oblivious, but not  _ that _ oblivious. She’d tapped underneath the bar to soothe her excitement, to try to play it cool. She knew Catra wasn’t scrutinizing her; she was observing her, but somehow it felt different. Adora wasn’t used to being looked at like that. It felt good to be the recipient of Catra’s attention.

Adora was drawn to her. She was witty and  _ smart _ , kind in a way that didn’t feel forced. Everything with her was just  _ easy _ . When Catra had needed help adjusting something on the highest shelf, Adora had to get up and help. It was the perfect excuse to be close to her, an opportunity to kiss her finally. She’d wanted to do that on the first night they’d met. Her body had felt just as good against hers.

It was  _ easy _ to say yes when Catra suggested they go back to her apartment, only a few blocks nearby. Adora could feel her heart thrumming in her chest, praying Catra wouldn’t notice her sweaty palms as they held hands. The apartment was only a few blocks away.

“Long commute, huh?” Catra joked. Was she just as nervous as Adora was? Catra had to let go to get her keys out of her bag, and Adora could see a slight shake in her hand. Adora placed her now free hand on her shoulder, squeezing once.  _ It’s okay _ . Catra let out a small sigh and seemed to regain her composure as she heard the lock click. Adora’s heart leaped through her throat. She needed to buy some time and regroup.

“Can I use your restroom real quick?” Adora asked.

Catra dropped her keys into a little tray near the door. “Sure - it’s the second door on the right. I’ll be in the kitchen,” she said, smirking. So much for the lack of confidence outside the door.  _ Catra confident was frighteningly hot, _ Adora thought to herself.

Adora swallowed thickly, letting out a panicked, high-pitched hum in agreement that she could be embarrassed about later. She found the bathroom quickly and locked the door. In her mind, Adora had two full minutes to freak out and regroup before going back to the kitchen. She could figure out what was happening with her body and push through it. Sure, it had been a while.

_ It’s been precisely six years as of November 12. _

No, no - she wasn’t going to think about that. Not right now. Tonight was supposed to be fun. She could do this.

“Okay, listen up, Adora,” she said to her reflection, briefly pausing to wonder if she was going insane. 

_ I am absolutely going insane. _

She pointed to the mirror to refocus, quieting her voice to prevent Catra from hearing her. “You’re going to go out there and have fun. Because you’re in your twenties, and this is the time to do this kind of stuff! It doesn’t hurt that you like her and that she’s probably the hottest woman you’ve ever met. You can always say no if -”

_I’ve said no in the past, but it didn’t matter then, did it?_ She felt her heart beat faster in her chest. No, _no_ \- this wasn’t happening now. _Push it down._

“I can do this,” Adora said, flapping her hands a little to try to bring herself back into her body. “Maybe taking some of my anxiety medication would help? No, Catra would think that was weird, me popping a pill before we do anything. If she asks me what it’s for, I can’t say, ‘oh, sorry, I have anxiety about sleeping with people because…’”

Adora wasn’t going to think about that. She could do this without her medication. 

Her self-allotted two minutes was up, so she washed her hands and checked her teeth. 

“You can do this,” Adora told herself, punctuating it with finger guns. She immediately regretted it.

She walked back over to the kitchen, slipping her shoes off on the way, and placed them at the front door. She found Catra leaning against the cabinets, swirling a dark merlot to let it breathe. She smirked when she saw Adora.

“Were you talking to yourself in there?”

Adora started stammering right out the gate. “Uh. Haha. No -  _ no _ . I was calling...my mom. Oh fuck, that’s not right. She’s...”

_ She’s dead, you idiot. There were hundreds -  _ thousands _ of other things that you could have said that  _ weren’t that _. _

Adora winced, so close to physically smacking herself on the forehead in embarrassment before Catra reached for her. She  _ giggled  _ at Adora’s fumbling, taking Adora’s hand, the other brushing a piece of her hair out of her face. Adora leaned into her touch.

“A little nervous, huh?” She asked.

“Yeah. It’s been...a while.”

_ Six years and twenty-seven days. _

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to,” Catra reassured her.

Her body language said something different. Catra had let her eyes flicker down to her lips, leaning in slightly. She took their enclosed hands and gestured for Adora to circle her waist.

“What if I want to?” Adora asked, pulling her closer.

All of the things that Adora remembered about their first meeting came rushing back to her - whiskey, silk, the way Catra’s small frame felt under her hands. She broke the kiss only to find the underside of her jaw again, nipping like she wanted to back then.

Catra whimpered, canting her hips forward. Adora couldn’t get close enough. She re-captured Catra’s lips, hearing a whimper as she deepened the kiss and scratched gently at her hairline. The harder Adora held on, the lower her hand wandered on her back, the needier the noises became. Adora wanted to hear her.

“God, I wanna make you come, Catra.”

“Fuck -” she gasped. “Do you want this?”

“Fuck yeah, I want this,” Adora breathed.

Catra laughed at her eagerness. “Let me take care of you, then.”

Catra gave the corner of Adora's mouth a quick kiss, trailing her hands down Adora’s stomach, reaching her belt -

But it wasn’t Catra’s hands that were reaching for her anymore. They were broader and stronger, and they belonged to -

_ N-no, stop.  _

She was suddenly back in that bar, in that bedroom. She could hear him, smell him, see him. She clamped her eyes shut to make it stop, but he just wouldn’t go away.

_ I don’t…know you, I don’t want -  _

_ d-don’t-  _

She felt herself struggling.

_ let go of me - _

He was everywhere, mocking her.

_ Maybe if you hadn’t dressed like that, this wouldn’t have happened. _

“-don’t touch me,” Adora whimpered, trying to push him off her.

Adora felt someone let go of her belt, but it wasn’t enough. She was on fire, sweating through her clothes. Even her tears felt like they were burning her skin. She wanted to get out of the itchy fabric, but not here. She was uncomfortable, but her clothing was the only armor she had. Then he couldn’t touch her. She couldn’t feel the ground anymore. 

She felt everything and nothing at all.

Adora felt her way backward until she hit a flat service, some kind of cold metal to slide down into a crouching position. He couldn’t sneak up on her that way - if he came around, she could see him. Adora tried breathing, but every breath was pained, gulps of air forcefully pulled down her throat by her ribcage. She just wanted him to leave. Then she could breathe again; then this could stop.

_ Fuck.  _

_ Please make it stop. _

“-ra? Adora, think you’re having a panic attack.” The voice sounded miles away.

_ Stim,  _ her brain helpfully supplied at the words  _ panic attack _ . That’s right - she could stim. She rocked back and forth, flapping her hands. That’s all she had to focus on right now - flapping, rocking. Adora didn’t know where she was, and she was past the point of embarrassment. Flap, rock. Over and over.

“You’re safe here. Nothing is going to happen without your permission,” the voice said.

_ Permission? _

She suddenly remembered where she was. 

“Fuck,” Adora murmured, hiding her face in her hands. “I’m such an idiot.”

“No, you’re not an idiot,” Catra said softly and calmly, understanding that Adora would jump and run at a sudden move or loud noise. “Can I hold your hand? You can say no.”

Adora nodded and slowly brought her hand down away from her face, presenting it to Catra. She realized too late that it was still wet from her tears, and she was still shaking violently. Catra slowly brushed her fingers along her knuckles, Adora’s other hand still stimming as she tried coming back into her body.

“I-I’m so sorry, Catra,” Adora choked through sobs. She wanted to dissolve into the floor.

“Hey. There is nothing to apologize for here,” Catra said. "Are you okay?"

“I’m…I'm...”

_ I’m broken, and it’s not your job to fix me. It’s nobody’s job but my own. _

When Catra sensed that Adora couldn’t respond yet, she jumped in.

“Hey, it's okay. You’re safe here. I can bring you back to your place if you want, but  _ I’d _ like you to stay.” Catra carefully added pressure to Adora’s hand, trying only to do things that would be soothing.

The logical part of Adora’s brain supplied that she couldn’t safely leave on her own. She could barely respond, let alone drive somewhere at this hour. Catra driving her back home was out of the question; Adora had put her out enough already. The other part of Adora’s head  _ hurt, _ like the synapses between her neurons were no longer firing. Things that would have been easy twenty minutes ago were difficult now. Everything was overwhelming, moving in slow motion.

“Adora? Can I take care of you?” Catra asked.

_ Why does she want to take care of me? I recoiled at her touch. I’m such an inconvenience. _

She faintly heard more sounds coming from Catra’s mouth. Adora forced herself to pay attention to the words she was forming. 

“Adora, is it okay if you stay here with me? I can take the couch,” Catra tried again.

Adora didn’t want to give in, but she couldn’t hold back anymore. She just wanted to give in to what she didn’t deserve, to be held and told that everything would be okay.

_ Help me, please. I don’t want to be alone right now. _

Adora nodded. Catra offered her hand to help her up - another choice. The more options Adora had, the safer she felt. Catra held her hand to her room - always guiding, never pulling. Adora regretfully took in her surroundings; she had hoped to be here for a different reason. Catra was seemingly oblivious to Adora’s disappointment, or maybe Adora wasn’t able to see that she was disappointed, too. It was a possibility. Catra walked over to the dresser, producing a pair of grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt out of the drawers.

“Now I know we aren’t the same size, but I picked something out that is relatively bigger on me. Your ass is literally fucking huge, though, so it might not fit anyway,” Catra turned around and flashed her a wicked smirk.

“Really?” Adora laughed incredulously, and Catra gave her a warm smile in return. “My ass isn’t that big.”

“Hm, you’re not a great judge, then. I’ll let you get dressed while I grab some water,” Catra said, eyes softening. “Take your time, okay?”

“Can you - can you grab my bag? It has some anxiety medication in it,” Adora winced, embarrassed. The words felt thick in her throat. “Please?”

Catra nodded, leaving the room and shutting her door quietly on her way out. Adora let out a shaky sigh in relief. She was grateful to have some privacy, but she wasn’t alone. She could still hear Catra’s footsteps padding on her hardwood floors.

Adora pulled off her clothes, slightly damp from sweat, and placed them folded neatly on the dresser. She’d need a shower in the morning; She couldn’t trust her legs to hold her upright in her current state. Adora had to sit down to put the sweatpants and shirt on, her legs shaking too much to do so standing up. Catra hadn’t come to the door yet; either that or she was waiting to give Adora some extra time. Catra was so patient. Adora had just sat on the bed, head against Catra’s headboard, when she heard a knock.

“Can I come in?”

Adora nodded her head before she remembered that Catra couldn’t see her. “Y-yeah,” she acknowledged verbally. Catra entered the room and left the door open. She was balancing three glasses of water between her arm and her chest and had slung Adora’s backpack over her shoulder.

“Can you drink this? The second one’s for you, too,” Catra explained, passing Adora one of the glasses and placing the bag on the bed in front of her.

Adora finished the first glass as a comfortable silence fell over them. Catra seemed satisfied with this development and grabbed her clothes out of the dresser to change. Adora sifted through the front pocket of her bag, shaking two pills out from the bottle and tossing them back. It would take a little while to kick in and stop the shaking, but it was going to be okay now. Knowing she wouldn’t have another panic attack tonight helped ease her.

Catra entered the room again in a simple tank top and running shorts. Adora was pretty sure that she hadn’t seen this much of Catra before, and she drank the sight of her greedily.

“Shit,” Adora breathed. Adora’s brain hadn’t stopped  _ betraying her  _ because she did not mean to say that out loud. Catra turned around and grinned.

“Mhmm, this beautiful lady,” Catra nearly purred, “is gonna get some spare sheets and set up the couch.”

Catra started walking out the door when Adora finally gained enough courage to ask for what she needed right now.

_ Stay. _

“Wait,” Adora faltered. “Can you - can you hold me? I don’t want to be alone right now.”

Catra looked relieved as if she didn’t want to be alone, either. She walked onto the other side and slid into the bed. Adora shifted to give her more access, trying to stop her trembling. Catra touched her shoulder gently, pausing to make sure it was okay. Adora nodded, feeling Catra press her front against Adora’s back.

_ I want her. Why can’t my body just do what I want? I ruined everything tonight. I wouldn’t be surprised if she never talks to me again after I leave tomorrow. Should I leave early in the morning? I wouldn’t blame her if she asked me to after I rejected her like that. But I didn’t even want to refuse her. How do you explain to someone that your brain did something that you didn’t want it to? That sounds ridiculous. There’s no way she’d- _

“Wanna tell me what you’re thinking about in that big ol’ brain of yours?” Catra asked. She started rubbing her shoulders, and Adora relaxed muscles she hadn’t known she’d been tensing.

Adora laughed, but it sounded hollow even to her ears. “I was just thinking about how I ruined everything tonight.”

“What? You didn’t —“ Catra started.

“I can safely say that I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life. And the fact that you had to take care of me...I’ve been nothing but an inconvenience.”

Catra pressed herself closer and nuzzled the space between her shoulder blades, sighing.

“I’ll decide when you’re an inconvenience, you dummy. And I’ll tell you. Telling people to fuck off is one of the simple pleasures in life,” Catra said. “But you recovering from a panic attack has nothing to do with putting me out or being inconvenient. Your needs are important, Adora. I’m glad you don’t have to do this on your own right now.”

Adora thought she couldn’t cry anymore, but she did - an ugly, full sob that she hadn’t experienced in years. Catra kept her face huddled into Adora’s back and let her ride it out, kissing her spine.

After a while, Catra sighed dramatically behind her, muffled by Adora’s back. “I gotta say, though, I’m surprised. Who would have thought you’d be the little spoon? I’d think you’d want to be the big spoon, with those arms and all.”

Adora giggled, a wet sound from her crying. Catra just pulled her in closer.

“There’s something about your tiny body wrapped around mine that makes me feel safe,” Adora laughed. Catra left the warmth of her back to kiss her shoulder softly in response.

“You did kiss me when I was too short to reach something,” Catra joked.

“You  _ were  _ cute, hopping up to reach stuff,” Adora teased, “and failing.”

Catra gave her a light smack on her shoulder, and it made Adora laugh even more.

“I’m starting to think you only want me for my tiny body,” Catra grumbled. Adora turned around, Catra’s hand falling on her neck. 

“Nah. I want all of you,” Adora said.

She leaned in and kissed Catra softly. Not enough to start something, but enough to leave something behind. Catra gently swiped her thumb against Adora’s bottom lip when they broke apart.

“You’re not obligated to tell me anything. But you  _ can  _ tell me if you want to,” Catra whispered.

Adora closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“I want to.”

So, she told Catra everything: how she had just turned eighteen a month before and used a fake ID to get into a bar in her hometown, how it was one last hurrah before she and her friends went to college. The new guy, a mutual friend, joined the group last minute. She told Catra about the drink he bought Adora that didn’t taste right, how she thought it was just a new kind of alcohol she hadn’t tried before. How her drunkness hit her, so slowly and deeply after only one drink, but being too anxious to admit that something was wrong, how she didn’t want to cause a scene. How she could only remember flashes of smells, sounds, visions, but her brain never revealed the full picture. Waking up in an unrecognizable place without her clothing, getting dressed on her own, and having to call a cab to the station so she wouldn’t have to tell her grandmother. Filing a police report. Getting a kit done. Having to relive the experience in front of several male police officers. 

Taking four showers that night and still not feeling clean.

She told Catra how her friends didn’t believe her; how they insisted that she had just gotten too drunk. That he hadn’t done anything that she didn’t want. How they said they “saw her all over him.” How her friends wondered why she always needed to make these things such a big deal.

Adora was distant when she talked about this. It was rehearsed, memorized to prevent the hurt from what happened from seeping in. She couldn’t let people know how gutted she still was.

She could tell that Catra could see right through her. She always had.

Catra was gently brushing Adora’s hair with her fingers, lightly scratching her nails against Adora’s scalp. Adora sighed and sank further into the embrace, relieved to get everything out in the open. She focused on her breathing to settle her nervous system.

“Thank you for sharing that with me,” Catra said.

“I just - I didn’t want you to think I don’t want you. You’re the first person I  _ have  _ wanted since this all happened. I just think it’ll take some time, and I don’t even know if you feel this is worth it, that I’m worth...all this  _ trouble  _ \- and -“

“Adora," Catra interrupted gently. "Do you want me to talk or listen?”

“Talk,” Adora answered, without hesitation. “Please. It freaks me out when people just listen. I don’t know what they’re thinking, and I just assume the worst.”

Catra kissed Adora briefly to reassure her, hands still carding through her blonde hair.

“It sounds like a lot of people you trusted failed you. Authority figures, friends, and you assumed your family would, too. I could see how the heartbreak would be twofold - once for what happened, and again for how the people in your life treated you. You deserved better than that. I know this had nothing to do with me - I’ll tell you if I feel rejected. If it takes us some time to do anything, or we decide never to take it further, I’m okay with that.”

Catra pressed her lips to her jaw, her cheeks, and the space between her eyebrows.

“I’m not going anywhere, Adora.”

She didn’t realize how much she needed to hear that. Her body relaxed instantly, tension leaving as soon as it had entered.

“We’re going to have a longer conversation about boundaries and consent after we sleep. If I’m ever allowed to do more than be the big spoon, I'm going to do it on your terms,” Catra said.

Adora laughed. “You know, I can be the big spoon  _ sometimes.  _ ”

“Nope. Turn around. Your fate is sealed.”

Adora did so, finding the hand that draped across Adora’s shoulder and bringing it to her stomach. She tried to relax, but she could tell she was fidgeting, and that was probably keeping Catra awake, but then she was anxious about keeping Catra awake, which caused more fidgeting...

“You said you could recite your mom’s stories from memory, right?” Catra asked, breaking the silence.

“Yeah,” Adora responded softly.

Catra kissed the back of her neck. “Tell me a bedtime story.”

Through the haze of her anxiety, something became crystal clear. She wanted this intelligent and infuriatingly hot woman in her life more than she had ever wanted anything. Adora had never felt more seen or cared for. She needed to protect her, take care of her...

Love her.

She loved Catra.

Now, she just needed to find a way to tell her.

[ ](https://twitter.com/nyooooooy/status/1323367279124385792)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE: Thank you to Nyoy for the WONDERFUL art at the end of the story. I've linked the image directly to their page so you can see their other beautiful work!
> 
> Trigger-friendly summary: Adora and Catra enter her apartment, and Adora feels off. She gives herself a pep talk in the bathroom. They both want to take things further than just kissing, and Adora gives her consent, but she has a panic attack. Catra helps her through it. She feels embarrassed, explains her trauma is related to assault, and Catra takes excellent care of her. Catra continually asks what is okay. She is more aware of Adora’s needs. She doesn’t make her feel wrong about these needs and ends up sleeping next to her that night with Adora’s permission. They agree to have a conversation about consent the following day. Catra can tell that Adora is anxious next to her and asks Adora to tell her one of her mom’s stories. Adora realizes that she loves her and starts planning how to tell her.


	7. Off the Table

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take a quick peek at the rating change - we're entering some ~explicit~ territory here. If you want to skip the smut, you can stop at the line "She leaned into Adora’s neck, leaving kisses on her pulse point." Although this smut does have some plot value, I promise.
> 
> Huge thank you to Jess (@feistypants on AO3, @feistypaants on Twitter) for being my cheerleader and helping me with this chapter! ♥️
> 
> As always, feel free to chat with me on the bird app at @sapphwriter.

**Catra**

Catra awoke on Adora’s chest. Adora had pulled Catra on top of her at some point while she was sleeping. Catra listened to her breathing, lightly snoring in her sleep. She’d heard Scorpia refer to them as “baby snores” when they were younger, and the description was fitting. 

There was an intimacy that morning that Catra hadn’t known before. The way Adora molded into her, the way she smelled like a mixture of something pleasantly earthy and Catra’s detergent. As much as she enjoyed these things and the warmth under her - Adora was a  _ radiator _ when she slept - Catra wondered if Adora would panic with Catra on top of her when she woke up. She had no desire to startle her, especially not after what happened last night.

_ Last night.  _

Catra was angry for so many reasons, some of them selfish. Adora had recounted what happened in such high-level terms, like it was practiced, to protect herself. Someone should have protected her when it happened. They both knew how broken this had made her, at one point in time. And there were probably fractures that Adora was still trying to mend on her own.

Last night was a mess, and Catra was pretty sure she’d made it worse. She knew that Adora was nervous - she knew that Adora had anxiety, and she pushed it anyway. There was so much trust there, and Catra didn’t know if she deserved it. She was good at breaking things.

Catra slowly tried to extricate herself from Adora’s chest when a pair of strong arms prevented her from pulling away. She could feel Adora’s biceps flex around her, which was  _ doing things to her  _ that were not appropriate under the current circumstances.

“Hmmh...” Adora mumbled as she started to shift under her. She moved Catra up farther onto her chest, the perfect position for Catra to nuzzle into her neck and run her fingers through Adora’s hair. Catra scratched lightly at her scalp. Another happy, sleepy mumble from the woman under her let her know that it was the right call.

“-orning,” Adora whispered, her voice deep and thick from sleep. She loosened her arms, and Catra unsuccessfully tried to hide a whimper at the loss. Catra felt the vibrations of Adora laughing before she returned her arms to hold her again.

“Morning,” Catra whispered against her neck. “Can I - Can I kiss you?”

“Yeah, just - I want to keep my clothes on, right now, if that’s okay,” Adora said a little nervously. She hadn’t said no, and her body was still relaxed, so Catra took it as a sign to move forward.

“More than okay,” Catra mumbled before placing a kiss on her pulse point, letting out a pleased hum when she felt Adora’s breath stutter underneath her. She kissed Adora’s neck again, open-mouthed, making her way up to the spot under her ear and nipping lightly. Adora moaned at that, and  _ fuck _ if that wasn’t hot, hearing her moan after such a simple touch. Catra’s hips rolled against her thigh on their own volition, strong muscles flexing underneath her, and she was  _ wet _ from the noises Adora was making _. _ She knew Adora felt it, too, from the way her hands flexed on her hips.

“I’m so sorry, I -” Catra started, but it was a moot point.

“You - you can do it again,” Adora said shyly. Catra lifted herself from Adora’s neck and kissed her, soft and slow. Adora broke the kiss, waiting for Catra's answer.

“I want to, but we should talk first,” Catra said. 

Adora nodded, face pained.  “Yeah, we can talk about it over breakfast, maybe? I’d love to make you something to...uh, say thank you, for everything,”

_ Why would she thank me? I was the one who fucked up yesterday. It was all my fault. _

“Catra?”

_ She’s saying something. What was she saying? _

“Are you okay?” Adora asked again. Catra’s spiraling must have been easy to read.  She wanted to say yes, but she couldn’t. She’d done too much work to lie to someone she cared about. 

“I feel like yesterday was my fault," Catra said honestly.

“Wait, what?”

“No, please - let me finish, I just -” Catra took a deep breath, pausing as Adora ran her hands lightly across her back to relax her. “I should have asked you what was okay, specifically. I thought that you meant you wanted  _ everything _ , but it was unfair of me to assume, and I’m just - so sorry -”

Adora sat up, carefully positioning them, so Catra was straddling her lap before pulling her in for a hug.

“I wanted everything,” Adora admitted, pulling her in tighter, “I said yes, and I meant it. My body just didn’t cooperate. I could have taken medication before, but I was weirdly nervous? I don’t know how to explain it.”

“No, I get it. Even if the drugs help, understanding the context, it makes sense why you would hesitate to take something. You probably didn’t realize why at the time.”

Adora pulled back to kiss the underside of Catra’s jaw. “Yeah, that’s - I didn’t even think of that. Still, I should have listened to my body. I was already fighting my panic when I was in the bathroom.”

“Oh, I’m aware,” Catra said, eyes narrowing suspiciously. “I heard pretty much everything...these walls are very thin. Did I hear you go ‘pew-pew’ by the way?”

Adora hid her face in Catra’s shoulder and groaned when it hit her.

“Wait -” Catra started, but Adora cut her off with a muffled “ _ Goddamnit” _ before the realization hit her. “Did you do finger guns in my bathroom mirror?”

“I hate myself,” Adora said, lifting her face just enough to speak clearly.

“I think I need to get rid of that mirror now,” Catra said wistfully. “It’s a shame. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at it the same again. Or you, for that matter.”

“Kill me now,” Adora deadpanned.

“I’d rather not. I like you too much,” Catra said. “Also, you never have to hide your meds from me. I don’t think it’s weird, and if you’re okay with it, I’d actually prefer if you took them if we wanted to try anything in the future.”

Adora nodded in agreement, moving to kiss her once. “Thank you,” she said, cupping her jaw and running her fingers along Catra’s cheekbone. “For making me feel safe, for being so good to me.”

Catra whimpered, grateful that Adora was clueless.  _ Put that praise kink away, you horny mess. Now is not the time. _

But those thoughts were difficult to stop when Adora started kissing the column of her throat. “I really did want you, you know,” Adora whispered against her neck, “I still do.”

Catra’s eyes closed, and her whole body shuddered. It just felt so fucking good. “I love how your breathing changes when I do that,” Adora sighed, nipping her pulse point, and Catra gave a sharp inhale. “Yeah, just like that.” 

_ Okay, so maybe Adora isn’t  that  clueless. _

So, she had been right about Adora’s intentions last night. But she was still unsure of what Adora wanted, which was enough to put a pin in this. “Wait, Adora -” Catra said, through her heavy breathing. Adora’s hands instantly dropped, and she moved away from her, giving her space.

“Sorry - I didn’t mean to push -”

“Fuck, no - you’re so hot and so sweet,” Catra brought her closer again. “I want this, but I want to talk first. That’s all. I think it’s cute you’re so impatient.”

Adora gave her another dopey grin, but it quickly went away when she realized something.

_ No, come back. I love that dopey grin. _

“What time is it?” Adora asked.

“Uh,” Catra grabbed her phone from the bedside table. “11:32. I don’t have to go into work until later tonight.”

Adora jolted forward even farther, nearly knocking Catra off the bed. She held onto Adora for dear life. “Fuck - I have a call with my agent in like twenty minutes. I completely forgot.”

Catra steadied herself and rubbed Adora’s back to settle her. “Hey, it’s okay. I can make breakfast. You can take the call in my living room.”

She felt Adora relax under her hands. “Thank you. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

Catra smirked, mostly to see if she could get Adora to blush, but Adora just leaned in and captured her mouth. It was three, maybe four minutes before Catra had to stop them.  “As much as I’m enjoying this, you’re going to be late."

“Gah, you’re right,” Adora said as she removed Catra from her lap and scrambled to grab her laptop. Catra saw Adora take her medication before she left to get ready.

* * *

Catra had picked something easy to make - pancakes. She wasn’t the best chef (drinks were different, for some reason), but she could make some damn good pancakes. Catra had just finished mixing the dry ingredients when she heard Adora’s meeting start. She couldn’t make out the other side of the conversation, but hearing Adora was enough to understand that this was not a regular check-in with her publisher.

“Michael, please don’t - it isn’t coming out of nowhere. I wouldn’t want to read this,” Adora said, sounding more frustrated with every word. “I told you from the very beginning that I wanted to write these characters as lesbians, and you’re blocking me.” Catra heard a pause, and then Adora sigh. “Don’t pull the book...I’ll - I’ll figure something out. Give me some time. I don’t want to walk from this opportunity, but I’m not budging on this.”

Catra stopped her whisking, eyes wide.

_ What if I gave her bad advice and ruined this opportunity for her? _

Catra started aggressively whisking now, taking all of her anxiety out on the batter. Catra was proud of her but also terrified. She would never forgive herself if she fucked up Adora’s only shot. The sound of a laptop being shut and a deep sigh came from her living room. Then, bare feet padding down the hallway.

“Perfect timing, pancakes are almost done,” Catra said, now focused on timing her flipping correctly.

Adora wrapped her arms around her waist tightly from behind and placed her chin on Catra’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

“How did the call go? I heard some of it,” Catra said, Adora’s arms still around her. It made it a little challenging to cook, but Catra had no intention of asking her to leave.

“It was...not great, honestly,” Adora said. “This whole book is up in the air. I can’t keep lying to myself or my publisher that I’m okay being forced to write a straight romance just because they're scared. So, I told them that.”

“That was brave.”

“Pfft-,” Adora laughed. “That’s one way to put it. It’ll only be brave if it works.”

“It’ll be brave either way,” Catra said. She felt Adora smile.

Adora extricated herself from behind Catra, and both moved to set the table and serve the food, eventually sitting side by side as they ate. An awkward silence fell over them - the first of the past twelve hours.

“So. Uh. Are you ready to have our conversation about boundaries?” Catra asked, wanting to both fill the silence and get this conversation started.

“Um. Sure. Before we start, where do you keep the syrup?” Adora asked.

“I didn’t know you were into that,” Catra teased. It was the right move - the tension dissipated. Adora rolled her eyes and laughed, waiting for the correct answer. “In the fridge, top shelf on the door.” Adora grabbed the syrup and two glasses of water before sitting back down.

“Uh. Okay, I’ll start,” Catra said. “Can we include the stuff you mentioned yesterday in our conversation?”

“Yeah, I think I’m okay. I took some of my medication this morning, but I’ll let you know if I start to get nervous again,” Adora said, drizzling an ungodly amount of syrup onto her pancakes.

“Good,” Catra said, resisting the temptation to touch her. Even though she was in the right headspace, they were about to talk about something difficult. She’d let Adora lead physically.

“You said it had been....a while, yesterday. How long has it actually been?” Catra started.

“Six years and a month,” she responded, pausing before her next statement. “I haven’t slept with anyone since the assault.”

“Hey, that’s - that’s understandable. You just weren’t ready yet,” Catra said, but Adora still seemed wary, like she had said too much. “Can I hold your hand?” Adora closed the distance and laced their fingers together.

“My therapist would agree with that,” Adora gave a short huff. “So, uh. How long has it been for you?”

Catra gave her a wicked grin. “It’s only been about two days. I’ve been getting railed while -“

“ Catra , _come on_ ,” Adora said in a good-natured whine. Catra just laughed. 

“Okay, okay. It’s been about a year. I don’t have a particular reason why, though. Maybe because I’ve been busy with bar upkeep? All I know is that I didn’t really want to date all of a sudden,” Catra elaborated.

_ That’s a fat lie, and you know it, Catra. _

Adora looked at her skeptically. She could tell Catra was hiding something but didn’t press. Catra did it for her, starting up again. “That’s...not true. I don’t know why I said that. I was really depressed last year. Casual sex was fun when I was nineteen, but I was pretty tired of it when I reached twenty-three. That paired with the depression made me feel pretty empty,” she confessed.

“Do you still feel that way?”

“Not as much these days, but sometimes. It’s hard to feel sexy when you think you’re a horrible person,” Catra laughed, but it felt hollow.

Adora looked concerned. “You’re a wonderful person, Catra.” She leaned in to kiss her cheek. Catra had grown to crave those soft touches that Adora so quickly offered her. Adora kissed her forehead as if she could read her mind and winked. “Do you feel sexy now?”

“Nice try. We aren’t done,” Catra continued, carefully considering her next statement. “Have you slept with a woman or gender-neutral person before?”

“Yeah, one time before the assault. It was the day after my eighteenth birthday, and I kinda...uh...ended up losing my virginity in the school locker room after hours with a girl on my soccer team,” Adora blurted unceremoniously.

Catra’s eyes widened. “That’s  _ amazing _ . I want details.”

Adora snorted. “You really don’t. We had no idea what we were doing. I had to ask her where her clit was, and I  _ have one _ . It was a disaster.” She started giggling to mask her embarrassment.

Catra couldn’t help it. “Do I need to show you where mine is?”

“Pff - okay, very funny. I walked right into that one,” Adora deadpanned, but Catra saw the faintest grin trying to peek through. “I knew where it was. I just got  _ nervous, _ okay? The worst part is that I just got her off on my thigh, so like - I’m clueless, for the most part. And, uh -” Adora cleared her throat. “I haven’t really wanted to touch myself since, either? That’s changed recently, though.”

“What - what do you mean?” Catra replied nervously. She drank a sip of her water to hide the raging blush that no doubt smattered under her freckles.

“I think you know what I mean.” Catra choked on the water she had been sipping.

“Does it mean you’re jacking off to Betty White?” Catra asked. Now it was  _ Adora’s  _ turn to choke on her water, sputtering to defend herself. It was cute how flustered she could get.

“You’ve alluded to this, but I want to get a clear answer on where your head is. Do you want to sleep with me in the future? Not like sleep next to me but - ugh. You know what I’m asking.”

_ Oh jeez, use your words, Catra. _

Adora didn’t comment on Catra tripping over her words. She just sighed quietly. “God, yes. Honestly, if that panic attack hadn’t gotten in the way, I would have just fucked you on this table.”

“Fff-uh, good to know,” Catra replied with poor recovery. Adora smirked at her.

_ Once you give me permission, I’m gonna wipe that little smirk right off your - _

A cough from the woman next to her brought Catra back to the conversation. “Okay, fine,” Catra started, “What things would be...off the table?” She winced at the unintentional pun. Apparently, she wouldn’t be able to think of a table from this point forward without imagining Adora fucking her on it.

“Touching me while I'm naked would probably be...a later thing. I don’t want to hold off forever - I think we’ll need to ease into it, is all. ” Adora continued after taking another bite of her pancake off of a mostly-empty plate. “In terms of future boundaries - nothing, uh. You know. Inside?”

“So no penetration?” Catra asked.

“Yeah, and I’m not sure if you’re into this stuff, but I also can’t have anything that restrains me. Um. Specifically, my hands and arms being held down.”

“Okay, I’ll definitely remember that. What kinds of things  _ would  _ you be interested in?”

“I’m definitely interested in using a strap, although maybe not right away. I just would have no idea what I’m doing,” Adora held her hand up before Catra could tease her. “Before you say it, I know where it goes. I get the mechanics of it.”

But Catra wasn’t in a teasing mood anymore. She gave a thick swallow to center herself. “I, uh. I have one,” Catra said. “A few options, actually.”

“You do?” Adora asked, genuinely excited at the prospect. Catra nodded.  _ Yeah, and you’re gonna fuck me with it when you’re ready.  _ Her heart was a jackhammer in her chest. They hadn’t even gotten into specifics, and she was fucking soaked.

“I’d, uh - love to use it. Soon. Honestly, it’s been driving me fucking crazy not to touch you,” Adora said, rubbing her fingers over Catra’s knuckles.

You can touch anytime. And when you’re ready, I can ride you,” she said, leaning in and testing the waters. “If you’re a good girl for me.” Adora let out a whimper, eyes fluttering shut at the praise. “Do you like when I call you that? My good girl?”

“I - I didn’t know that, but yes, apparently,” Adora laughed a little.

“We won’t play with that right away, but that’s good to know.”

“What  _ can _ we do, right away?” Adora asked hopefully.

“I can touch you, if you’d like,” Catra paused. “How would you like me to touch you right now?”

“I like you in my lap. You can grind on my thigh, but just - keep your hands above the belt area, please,” Adora said. Catra ran her hands across Adora’s arms, drawing light circles over her defined biceps, circling back to her chest. She felt Adora’s breath pick up, so she looked up and checked in.

“This okay?” Catra asked, gesturing to the general area of her torso.

“Just my arms and above my neck, actually,” Adora responded shakily. Catra kissed her softly in agreement, moving her hands back to her shoulders. “Sorry.”

“Nothing to apologize for. You’re allowed to change your mind.” She heard Adora let out a breath in relief. “Why don’t you tell me what you think about while you’re getting yourself off.” Catra suggested.

Adora’s eyes went wide, but she was clearly interested in the idea. Catra pulled Adora’s chair out with some moderate difficulty - she was  _ heavy _ \- and sat in her lap. Catra leaned in, biting and sucking her neck in the way she had wanted to earlier this morning.

“I think about you,” Adora started simply, running her hands up Catra’s waist. “I think about just...giving, getting off on getting you off. Wondering what you’d sound like, what you’d taste like, what you’d  _ feel _ like. Fuck, Catra. I need to touch you,” Adora sighed. She sounded as desperate as Catra felt. “Please,” she begged.

“Then touch.” 

Catra took Adora’s hands in hers, trailing them up the length of her body. She wasn’t wearing a bra, and Adora’s hands felt searing through the thin fabric of her t-shirt. Adora ran her thumbs over the nipples peeking through the material, sighing at the touch. She leaned into Adora’s neck, leaving kisses on her pulse point, her collarbone, and her jaw.

“You know what I think about?” Catra asked between shuddering breaths.

“W-what?” Adora said. She slotted their legs together, pulling Catra down and rolling her hips for her against the muscle of her thigh. Adora’s eyes warm despite how she was moving her, rolling her hips again, lightly grazing her leg against Catra’s clit. She cried out, shaking at the contact.

“Ah - I think about you fucking me with those big hands of yours - because, fuck, your fingers are so thick, I’d want you to work me up to three of them -”

“Oh fuck.” She took her hips and rolled them  _ hard _ , setting a brutal, excellent pace right there next to her kitchen table. 

“Pull my hair,” Catra said. She felt Adora shudder.

“How hard?” Adora whispered.

“As hard as you'd like,” Catra offered.

Adora pulled her hair lightly, a test. When Catra didn’t make a noise, Adora pulled harder the second time, watching her intently as Catra rewarded her with a whimper. Catra realized that although Adora was oblivious, she could be singularly focused on one thing intensely. Adora was singularly focused to a fault, and apparently, sex would be no different.

Catra was so worked up from this morning, from their conversation, that she was already on the edge.

“Fuck - Adora, I’m -”

“Can I taste you?” She asked, voice rough, staring at Catra’s hips as they moved in her lap. “Please - I want to.”

Catra was close, and she usually didn’t switch things up when she reached this point, but she didn’t mind waiting. She wanted to give Adora everything she wanted. “Y-yeah.”

She looked at Catra nervously. “I think I’m going to need some direction,” she admitted, rubbing circles into her hips with her thumbs. Catra gave her one more kiss before leaving her lap. As if Catra wasn’t in love with her enough already, Adora kept trying to pull her back in. Her eyes widened as Catra removed her shorts. Adora was still sitting on her kitchen chairs, her line of sight directly in front of Catra’s lower stomach.

“Look at you,” Adora breathed.

“You can see more if you take off my shirt,” Catra replied quickly. She was so far gone she was at the point of opting for direct instructions. She wondered if Adora could sense how needy she felt.

Adora eyed her cautiously, and Catra nodded her encouragement again in consent and let the woman in front of her start stripping her bare. Her touches were so tender on Catra’s skin, taking time to observe her first. Adora lifted the hem of Catra’s top, hesitating as the shirt reached the top of her ribcage. Catra could feel a slight tremble in Adora’s hands.

“Hey, wait -” Catra gently stopped her. “You’re shaking. Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah. Just nervous, but in a good way, I think. Are you okay?”

“More than okay. A hot blonde is about to take my top off,” Catra teased. She lifted Adora’s eyes to meet hers. “There’s no wrong way to do this.”

“Just…what if I can’t make you come?”

Catra considered this for a moment. “I almost did earlier, so I think you’ll be fine. But if that’s the case, I’ll fuck myself in front of you, and you can watch and learn. We’re gonna have fun either way.”

“Wow.” Adora let out a breath she had been holding and kissed Catra’s stomach. “Okay. Yeah.”

Catra helped Adora take the rest of her shirt off, leaving her bare from the waist up. She shuddered as Adora’s mouth reached the underside of her breasts, leaving hesitant kisses there. Adora’s hands moved from her waist up to her left breast, lightly tracing her thumb over her nipple.

“ _ Look  _ at you,” Adora repeated. “So fucking gorgeous.” 

Catra shuddered at the praise, letting Adora lift her onto the table, still seated.  _ Holy fuck is she strong. _

“You’re so good, Catra,” Adora said with more intention. Catra exhaled in a strangled whimper. “You like that too, huh?”

“Y-yeah. I- I love that,” Catra was losing focus, her mind singularly occupied by the loving touches on her body. 

Adora hooked her finger on the band of her underwear, pulling it down her legs. She was hesitant to go farther, and Catra reassured her by taking her hand and placing it on her inner thigh. Adora found her clit quickly, and Catra moaned at the contact.

“See, I told you I knew where it was,” Adora teased, as breathless as Catra was.

“Y-yeah, yeah, fuck you - ah!” Catra responded weakly. Her eyes fluttered shut when Adora started to move her hand.  _ That’s  _ what she’s been waiting for.

“You’re so wet,” Adora said reverently. Her hand added pressure, but it was a little too rough, bordering on painful.

“W-wait, Adora,” Catra said, and Adora stopped immediately, eyes wide. “Let me show you.”

Catra knew she should feel exposed - hell, she  _ was  _ exposed, with her naked ass on her kitchen table - but Adora looked at her reverently. She felt like something precious again. Catra kept eye contact with Adora and offered her two fingers, seeing what she’d do. Adora took both in her mouth, eyes closing as she hummed and sucked briefly to wet them for her. 

“This is what I’m doing when _I’m_ thinking of you,” Catra opted for instead, voice turning breathy as she started to touch herself. She was sensitive, so she never started on her clit right away. She felt herself with her middle finger, moving slowly and lightly to start, working around her clit. She whimpered, knowing that Adora was less than a foot away, rubbing circles into her thighs. When Catra started getting closer to her own clit, a particularly breathy gasp left her, and she felt the hands on her thighs tighten in response. As she finally made contact, she lessened the pressure and upped the speed, her hips rolling at her own touch.

“You can f-fuck me with your fingers if you w-want,” Catra stuttered. “Just start with one and curl up - ah!”

Catra felt herself get wetter as Adora briefly licked her own fingers in preparation. Catra looked down and saw that Adora was wet enough to show through her sweatpants.

Catra cried out and lifted her hips as Adora slowly slid one finger in, curling upwards and hitting a spot that would likely push her over the edge in minutes.

“Fuck, Catra, you feel so fucking good,” Adora groaned.

“Two - mmmmmh - please -” Catra was unable to speak in full sentences. 

Adora added the second finger, and Catra stopped touching her clit, too overwhelmed by the fullness inside her.

“Can I taste you now?” Adora asked.

“A-Adora,  _ fuck _ ,” Catra whispered in response. “ _ Please.  _ ”

Catra cried out, her eyes fluttering shut as Adora leaned in and licked a light, flat stripe. Adora followed the patterns Catra’s hands had made earlier, starting with light touches and flicking her tongue even lighter as she moved closer to Catra’s clit.  Adora was moaning, and Catra could feel the vibrations as Adora went down on her. When she opened her eyes, she saw Adora’s hand had reached below the waistband of her own sweatpants.

“O-oh  _ fuck _ , are you…?”

Adora moaned in agreement, mouth never stopping her light sucking and licking.

That’s all it took, one more broken moan against her, and Catra was coming, fluttering around Adora’s fingers with an intensity she was not prepared for. Adora’s face and her table were  _ soaked. _ She felt Adora remove her fingers from inside her as she grabbed Catra’s hand and shook with her own orgasm, crying out with her cheek against Catra’s wet thigh. 

She was so fucking beautiful.

“Holy shit,” Catra said. “That was- that  _ was  _ …”

“That was fun,” Adora grinned, kissing Catra’s knuckles as she caught her breath. “You were right. I n-never knew it could be that fun.”

Catra leaned down and kissed Adora hard, hopping back onto her lap as she giggled against her lips. They stayed like that - Catra completely naked, Adora fully clothed as they came down from the high. 

“Mmmm...I like that you taste like me,” Catra started, kissing her briefly again, “but I think we both need a shower. Do you want to go first?” Catra had a feeling it might be too soon for a shared shower. Adora nodded and looked grateful.

“Can we cuddle after we’re both out?” Adora asked hopefully.

“I’d love that.”

* * *

After Catra cleaned and they took separate showers, they held each other on the couch and watched a Hallmark movie together.

“Watching something this horrible feels like I’m going against some sort of writer’s code,” Adora said somberly.

“Oh, get off that high horse. I have a drinking game to go along with it,” Catra replied.

And so Catra made them two drinks - Adora’s new usual, and a Manhattan for herself, as they played the ridiculous made-up game that accompanied the movie.

“Every time someone says 'Merry Christmas,' we have to take a sip,” Catra told Adora seriously.

“I’m so fucked.”

“No, I think  _ I’m  _ the one who’s been fucked,” Catra said. She'd been roasted mercilessly for the bad joke.

One movie later and Adora had moved them to lie lengthwise on the couch, with Catra’s head on Adora’s chest. She listened to the heartbeat from the woman beneath her and felt herself settle into Adora’s warmth. Catra wanted to say that she loved her, but it didn’t feel like the right time. This moment didn’t  _ need  _ anything else.

She opted for something in the middle. “I know it hasn’t been long, but...I’m not seeing anyone else, and I don’t plan to,” Catra whispered against her chest.

Adora sat up a little, gave her that big dopey grin that Catra loved, and pulled her in to kiss her softly. When they broke apart, Adora trailed her hands up and down Catra’s back.

“Same. It’s only you.”


	8. Update: Rewrite

You read that correctly! I rewrote the entirety of this fic. If you’ve read this before the day this chapter was posted, there’s a _lot_ of new details to enjoy.

* * *

**Why’d you rewrite the fic?**

**Short answer:** I like pain, apparently.

 **Long Answer:** I’ve developed a lot over the past few months as a writer, and I wanted to give this fic a little extra love. The differences, I’ve been told, are pretty huge in terms of worldbuilding and character development. Some things didn't make sense, some things that I needed to tweak to take the plot where it needs to go. I think overall, it’s going to make the characters more complex and the narrative more interesting. I also didn’t want to finish writing it and look back to see two different writing styles in one fic - the improvement is significant enough for people to notice.

* * *

**What’s different?**

Everything’s just a little bit richer and clearer. Fundamentally, the plot is the same up until this point, but there’s more context this time around. It’s the same, just _more._ Here’s a great example:

 **Before:** She walked to the back on her own and resigned herself to her usual seat at the bar. She knew she would find her friends...eventually. Bow would grab her to dance, which she did not secretly like, and maintain that point until her dying breath. Either that or Adora will have to break up a fight that Glimmer will initiate later in the evening.

 **After:** The crowd pulled Bow and Glimmer away from Adora before she could even hand the _rather large and muscular_ bouncer her license. It was like one moment they were there, and the next, Glimmer and Bow had teleported to another location in time and space. Either that or the bouncer's arms were very distracting.

The bar was grimy, to be sure - but Adora wondered if her anxiety had clouded her recollection of this place. The Fright Zone _was_ a cool spot. It was eclectic, one of those bars that you could go to a hundred times and still see something new on the walls. It didn’t feel forced, though. It was almost like the bar had been there for years, and the owner had just collected exciting things. Old, framed newspaper clippings, different nicknacks hung from the walls while the lighting cast a warm, red glow on the floor. It was always more a bar than a club, but people specifically came here to dance. Adora usually came here to drink and write, but she could pause and observe without her head in her notebook. Huh, had that bicycle been hanging from the ceiling the entire time she’d been coming here?

She was still looking up, bumping into a few people and apologizing profusely before reaching the bar in the back. Adora was lucky - the seat she usually had was open. It always seemed to be available, just for her.

_It must be a sign to write more. Maybe I could steal a napkin and a pen from behind the bar? Ah. No, no. Bad. You’re here to have fun, talk to people, observe. That’s just as important for writing as the actual writing._

She did a visual sweep of the dance floor and found her friends dancing in the middle - Glimmer’s hair instantly gave her away. It was like looking for a pink, sparkly beacon. Adora considered the number of different routes this night could take - Bow could grab Adora to dance, which she was horrible at, but if drunk enough, ended up having a good time with it, anyway. Either that or Adora will have to break up a fight that Glimmer will initiate with someone at least twice as tall or large as her.

* * *

 ******How did the word count change?**

Old word count: 18k-ish

New word count: 22k-ish

* * *

**  
I’ve noticed Adora is beefier in this version -**

Yes.

* * *

**  
Is it worth a reread?**

You bet your butt it is.

Please let me know what your thoughts are on here or on Twitter (@sapphwriter)! 🥰

_PS: Holy shit, I really hope you guys like this. Considering it’s my most popular fic on here, I am genuinely taking a gamble._


End file.
